As dusk begins to fall on the world of Heroes Rising, the weather outside of the floating Dome begins to take a turn for the worse as dark clouds and an icy thunderstorm descend.
Newscaster Ray Stevens begins the segment.
Ray Stevens:
In a rare look inside pre league war planning I'm told we have an interview with self-described Avenger MVP The Island. He's where? Outside? In the storm?
Island:
(Leaning into the wind and rain barely able to stand.) Thanks for having me Ray!!!
Ray:
Considering the incredible venue for league wars is literally a floating dome, Island, I have to ask... Why are you outside in a storm?
Island:
Great question Ray. Honestly... I'm just not a smart man. This was a very poor decision. Secondly, it's a bucket list item to cut a promo in the middle of a hurricane so check this one off!!! Third, Heretic told me I can't come back inside until I think about what I said. That was 2 days ago.
Ray:
Island, I want to ask you about the the process in Avenger land. What's the course of action?!
Island:
So we had a pow wow. The squad and I. Everyone giving great imput and I said some stuff. And Rakly said I'm not really suppose to say... You know company secrets etc.
Ray:
Can you give me any insight into what to expect tonight?
Island:
Basically Fallen, Heretic, Quark and Rakly were talking about this guy hits this guy. This guy hits this gal. These guys dont hit these guys unless we need to. Island go stand in the corner and look pretty. And I'm all like, hell naw fam!!! I'm a penguin, you gotta let me fly!!!
Ray:
Island, you are aware penguins are incapable of flight correct?
Island:
(Crazy smile.) I'm glad you brought that up Ray! Are they though? Quark told me the same thing. But I've been thinking about it. Allow me to introduce another plane of thought. What if... All this time penguins have been playing the long game? All these millenia, all of human history, one big non flying lie!!! All leading up to this. League wars!!! We put all our eggs into one proverbial basket, defending the ground game. And (loud clap) BANG!!! Penguin blitzkrieg assault!!! It's all fun and games until you lose to the flying wallenda penguins. Tuxedo bombardiers in waiting is what I say!!!
Ray:
Has he been drinking? I think he's drunk!
Island:
So of course I bring this to light and I'm met with skepticism. Heretic tried to put me in time out and they acted like I quit talking but I didnt. I'm not letting it go. It's my duty as MVP to prepare for everything. So I press the penguin missile crisis scenario.
Rakly finally says, "OK Island, how do we defend against this inevitable doom?!?!"
Island:
I'm glad you asked! Hear me out! Let me finish! So I have it on good authority Fuma Hanzo knows where to rent live wolves! That's his skill set. It's why we keep him around. If one can rent live wolves, surely one must be able to rent live baby orcas! The natural enemy of penguins. So we take allllll of Rakly's money. All that money. We rent baby orcas, maybe give them spears or something. Don't really know. And catapults. And we shoot the baby spear orcas at the flying penguins! They will never see it coming! At this point the sheer brilliance was overwhelming. All the Avengers were silent.
Ray: Do they drug screen in the Avengers?
Island:
(Awkward pause.) Hahahaha none of us would be left. Maybe Fuma Hanzo. The guy has pet wolves pretty sure hes el naturale'. So anyway... Now you know! Avengers are in on the plan colony! All these thousands of years of tom foolery is for naught. I'm not sure who went and got the killer whales and catapults but I know we have them. I over heard Mack Stallion talking about freeing Willie tonight. And I heard Phantom talking about whipping that thing around. Obviously talking about a catapult. Obviously. So in closing... I say namaste (monk bow) to my brothers from another mothers Skel and Zen. And my fellow parking facility reptile... Odin! Let us make this a night and day to remember. Love, MVP most valuable penguinkiller. The Island.
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