Nova leaned back in his chair and gently picked up his nice, fresh cup of coffee from the cafe down in the mess. They just opened a new coffee shop that made fresh, real coffee and it was the best. He was ready for this morning’s brew. The moment it reached his face, a buzzer sounded on his computer and he nearly spilled the pipping hot drink down himself.
Slamming his fist on the respond button, he bellowed, “WHAT!”
Agent Justin came through the comm. “Sir, we have a problem. Santa is on the comm line and needs you.”
With a heavy sigh, Nova changed the comm channel to the private line between him and the North Pole. Santa’s face filled the screen. “Oh, good, Nova, we have a strange problem.”
“Why can’t I have one morning coffee without stress?” Nova muttered.
Santa continued, “You know I gave a large portion of my magical lands to EB to turn into his special Frostuary for the heroes.”
“Yes. And?” Nova’s eye twitched. He knew EB was down on Earth fixing everything up for this year’s celebrations.
“I can’t explain it. The village he made is not right. Oswald is confused and...well, you’ll have to see it for yourself.”
Nova stood up and smiled, “Nope.”
“What?”
“I have a better idea. Don’t worry, something will be done.”
“Okay. If you need my help, let me know.” Santa cut the line.
Nova picked up his coffee, took a nice, bracing drink, savored it for a moment, then walked out of his office.
Agent Justin was in command while all the others were out taking care of minor tasks for BADGE.
“Sir, what did Santa need?” Just asked.
Nova casually walked over to him. “Just that EB is having some minor issues with the Frostuary village. He could use some help. So, I’m sending you.”
“Me?” Justin pointed at himself.
“Yes. Don’t worry, I’m sure it won’t be much of a problem. Just go see what EB is up to and what needs to be taken care of. This holiday is for the heroes. Let’s make sure it is in fine order.”
“Okay.” Justin didn’t sound too certain about this, but he gave a brief salute and left the Operations. It might be the way Nova was smiling all through that, or that Santa was calling about something EB was doing/
One short shuttle ride down to the planet, Justin bundled himself up in his thickest BADGE coat and stepped out into the snowy world where the lovely village should be.
“What the ever-loving what?” Justin gawked at the mess.
What was normally a pristine village with little homes, snow-covered trees, and little cute animals helping set up things was a complete disaster. There was twice as much snow. Three times the amount of tables normally strewn about, half of them upside down. The cottage made of snow balls was already constructed, which was normally constructed by work by the heroes. Oswald meandered around, looking almost insane. The wild animals sat back and watched in equal amazement as Justin did .
A strange, buzzing sound whipped by, then again and again. A blast of snow shot up, following a row that was being plowed by an invisible force. It zig-zagged all over the place.
“EB!” Justin called out, knowing that normally EB would be the first to jump up and greet anyone approaching.
No one responded. There was just that same buzzing sound.
Suddenly, that plowed row of snow zipped around him five times, blasting snow all over the place, and then zipped away.
“What is going on?”
“Help, it is oranges and baskets of cars out here. I...when the door leaks, then the chocolate is all over the veranda.” Oswald scooted by in the snow, his head spinning around as he spoke in gibberish.
Justin grabbed Oswald as the poor snowman trundled by. “What is going on?”
Oswald wagged his stick-arms around, “Multiply by the bananas and move the ocean to square one.”
Justin looked around. “EB! Where in heaven’s name are you?”
“EB! EB! Joust the roots black!” Oswald yelled.
Justin smacked the snowman, expecting his head to explode into a puff of snow, but instead, it seemed to rattle him. Oswald shook his head and then looked at Justin.
“Oh, good, I can think straight. My, my, that was strange. EB has done it, boy has he done it this time.”
“What has EB done?”
Oswald pointed to the hot chocolate shed. “We were working on all the preparations when he had this need for some hot coffee. I said he would need to use magic. We don’t have any Starbucks this far north. He conjured up the hot chocolate stand and made some coffee. We were already behind, so he thought it would be best if he jazzed up his brew.”
Justin frowned. “What did he do?”
“He used something called Red Buffalo instead of water. He said it was something called an energy drink… whatever that is.”
Justin gasped, “Sweet cheese and crackers!”
“He went nuts. A couple heroes came by to see how things were coming and he threw everything at them at once, at light speed. He was moving so fast that they could hardly understand him. He then tried to get me to sing my special end-of-Frostuary song and cast a spell on me, which messed my head up pretty bad. It only went downhill from there.”
Justin said, “I think I know where EB is. Excuse me.” He walked away and sorted through the shuttle’s weapons cabinet. He returned with a strange-looking gun.
“Are you going to shoot him?” Oswald was terrified.
“No. I have a better idea. Just… be still.” He typed in a special code to the weapons computer and then took aim. He waited for the right moment and fired. A broad, blue beam emitted and hit the snow. That zipping line in the snow met it and EB froze in place. He was still trying to run, but the tractor beam held him at bay.
Lifting the gun up, EB floated off the ground. He smiled at Justin, as his head was protruding from the beam itself.
“OHHELLOJUSINTSOGOODTOSEEYOUIWASJUSTHAVINGFUNRUNNINGAROUND.DIDYOUSEEIGOTEVERYTHINGREADYFORFROSTUARYANDEVENFINISHEDITINONEDAYITISSUCHABEAUTIFULDAYANDTHESUNISHINNINGIWISHNOVAWEREHEREMYBUDDYANDICOULDHAVETHEBESTESTSNOWBALLFIGHTDIDIEVERTELLYOUABOUTMYSNOWBALLCANDYITISTHEABSOLUTELYMOSTAWSEOMESTTHINGEVERHEYYOULOOKMADWHYDOYOULOOKMADDOYOUWANTSOMECOFFEEIMADETHEBESTESTCOFFEEEVERWHYDOESEVERYTHINGTASTELIKEPURPLE.”
Justin held up the other weapon he retrieved. It was a small gun with a wide opening. “Good night, EB.” He shot and a dart hit EB in the chest. After a few moments, EB’s eyes closed, and he went limp.
“Wow, I am so glad that worked.” Oswald said.
Justin lowered EB back down to the snow, and then turned off the tractor emitter. “Don’t ever tell EB, but Nova had this special serum made just for EB. We always knew that he would get out of hand one day and we might need to tranquilize him. He'll be fine.”
Five hours later, EB sat, wrapped in a blanket and sipping some warm herbal tea. He trembled and looked like he was having the biggest hangover in history. Justin sat next to him in the shuttle with the monitor on. Director Nova glared down at them from the station far above.
Justin said, “Oswald took the lead, and we got everything back in order for day one of the event. Santa sent some of his own helpers to get things moving. EB didn’t do too much damage.”
“Good to hear. EB…” Nova glowered at the bunny, who gave a cute little innocent smile. “you EVER mix that kind of drink again for yourself, and I will put you in a thermal storage tank.”
“Don’t worry, buddy, I’m NEVER doing that again. It was so trippy. I can’t remember much, other than moving really fast and hearing my own heart racing. Now, I should have just eaten some of my special energy chocolate. It’s way less potent, but just right. It tastes awesome and…” He could see both Agent Justin and Nova looking at him with disapproval. “Not the best topic right now. Got it.” He went back to his herbal tea.
Nova said, “When you get to feeling better, get out that and start Frostuary right. The heroes have been through hell this past year. They need a special holiday. Run properly.”
“Don’t worry, Frostuary is a go. Ole Justin here and Santa did us right and things are A-OKAY!”
“Good. Nova, out.”
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