BY: Todd Goode id# 12205
Welcome back everybody to the final round of The Big Brawl. Papabiche has had a great time, "Vodka for everyone!" It's been nonstop slobber-knockin here in the final round of the Big Brawl. It had almost everything.
Besides all of the fireworks of battle, one fighter lost an eye, but he was able to grow back a new one. He got fresh with Mama-san Chiaki. Never get fresh with Mama-san Chiaki. Gets me a bit riled up.
Then another fighter made a wager and unfortunately lost. He couldn't cover his bet, so I had to collect his Quick Draw legs as payment. He's a bit shorter but it's okay, he says he has another set.
There was one guy whinny with crooked lips that just couldn't be satisfied. He got all prissy and broke the new glassware that Miggy paid for. Guess he didn't get my memo. Well, that whinny dude has something to whine about now. He's still in the corner recovering from the Kancho he caught but that's enough about the fun I had. Let announce the champs decided by round 3 battles.
In division 1, WMD and Chaos Theory had a tight battle all the way up to the end of the round but in the final moments, Chaos Theory blitzed WMD with multiple wins while WMD had some key losses. I guess WMD missed the lesson on chaos theory in school. Chaos Theory takes WMD back to class and claim the gold 96-77. I'm sure WMD will return stronger than ever but as of now, they just got schooled.
Division 2 sees the Angels of Sorcery draw the Big Bang Theory for the championship round. Angels of Sorcery need to check their spell books for better spells as the Big Bang Theory explodes in their space. The Angels get burned as they gave up quite a few defensive wins giving Big Bang Theory the win with an 86-21 victory. Angels go boom. Big Bang gets gold.
In division 3, COLONY 5¹ shuts down Tygger's Freak Show with a decisive victory, 175-5. They really had the Tygger by the tail and pulled hard. COLONY 5¹ team captain is reported to have said, HONK HONK ... HONK HONK HONK .... HONK HONK HONK HONK. I don't know what that means but everyone got pebbles and COLONY 5¹ get gold.
The seraphim Angels get their wings clipped in division 4 as the Fortess of Solitude take the win 68-11. Fortess of Solitude take the gold and the wing clippings. That 'My Pillow' guy will pay them a fortune.
In division 5, Outlaw Inc. shoots up the SOB Hunter/Killers 65-0. That's more of a hold up really. Outlaw Inc. steals the gold from those SOB's 65-0. Well. that don't look right but I ain't fixing it.
The W.a.r.e.h.o.u.s.e couldn't shuffle up and deal with a Stacked Deck in the third round. I don't know if they deal off the bottom, but the Stacked Deck gets the gold in division 6 this hand, 109-40.
ᐯI ᗰᗩᖇᗩᑌᗪEᖇS dismantle the ᗷOᗰᗷ❌Sᑫᑌᗩᗪ 1, 38-11. Maybe ᗷOᗰᗷ❌ just needed a bigger wick. ᗷOᗰᗷ❌ don't go boom! ᐯI ᗰᗩᖇᗩᑌᗪEᖇS wins gold in division 7.
In division 8, Pain Inc. tells Cobra Kai, "You should have used that fancy Crane Kick Daniel showed ya." Oooh! Too soon. Cobra Kai rolls in pain and Pain Inc rolls in gold with a 48-5 victory. Next time, spring for the J.C. Penny black belt.
ᗷOᗰᗷ❌Sᑫᑌᗩᗪ 2 have better luck in division 9 as they take the gold over the MacGregors!!, 45-2. Big wicks hanging out all over the place. Ya'll need to put those away, Its cold out here.
In division 10, SUFFERING rules over 9PLANETS ORBITING, 46-35. SUFFERING takes the gold and now Pluto feels bigger than ever. Don't blame me, Neil Degrasse Tyson said it, not me.
In division 11, Team Cold give the Raiderettes the shivers, and lock out the Raiderettes, 3-0. Team Cold get their first gold. Well done Team Cold. Now put a coat on.
Finally, in division 12, SOB♆ ภєรՇ ๏Ŧ שเקєгร bite the Ivalice Alliance and win the gold,13-0. Ivalice Alliance might want some anti-venom, that bite is gonna leave a mark.
Altogether, I gotta say, "This has been a pretty good first Brawl. It's something new. Let's pour another vodka or four and all raise your glass to the new guy for trying something new and congratulations to all the big winners getting that gold but watch your backs because I hear tell, that everyone is coming for your gold in the next league wars. I say they are all winners but that's just me. Take it from Ole Papabiche, train hard, help each other out and if you break any glasses, you might wanna tighten up. Good night fight fans. This is Papabiche, taking the vodka bottle. Party on Garth.
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