First I suppose I'd like to thank KHRA for offering me a deal to summarize Round 2 of this tournament. The circumstances leading up to this, I'd rather not go into detail on, plus they made me sign an NDA. Oh, sorry, Mr. Director. Oh we're live? Well, think of it as Reality TV Extreme. All the gladiator matches! More alliances than Survivor, more cash exchanging hands than the Millionaire show and more over the top drama than a Housewives episode! Roll intro music!
[10 seconds later]
As you can tell, I'm on a good mix of nanotech and adrenaline boosters, and will sleep very well tonight despite having my carcass mutilated by the WMD crew. They've always been a take no prisoners kind of outfit and tonight was no exception. Colony will be fired up to exert fury in Round 3 for sure. Super Freaks may wonder what they did to get stuck in D1 after CT obliterated them only to deal with Colony.
WMD Outlaws continued their assault in D2, blowing out the 5th's Traffic Cops. Meanwhile the Guardians tried hard to get their first win but fell to the Brute Squad. Something bizarre would have to happen for Guardians to upset Outlaws, no doubt.
In Division 3 the Fortress put up 151 - in rum terms that's known as Overproof, and a strong drink may be needed for their vanquished foes - to cement their claim to another trophy while AoS bounced back to convincingly knock over Super Freak Squad. Similarly, Battle Born in Division 4 took out Aussie Freaks to get back in the win column while Outlaws Incorporatted cruised over SOB Hunter Killer.
No close matches in Division 5; Walking Dead and Infected each strolled to comprehensive victories. Expect more of the same in Round 3 with the former adding to their collection of titles.
PAIN versus Stacked Deck was always going to be the closest matchup among the middle-level divisions and their Round 2 contest saw PAIN emerge on top yet again. They've yet again proved to be one of the elite pound-for-pound sides among all the leagues present and are a lock to win another trophy. SOB's win over the Warehouse will bring joy to that long-enduring franchise.
Freak Frequency couldn't quite achieve their heroic first round total, and fell to the Bomb Squad, in D7. In an all-freak (Freakydeak?) matchup, the Nature variant beat the New variant in comprehensive fashion.
Suffering and SOB Meat Locker continued their path to a winner-take-glory clash in Divison 8, each piling on big numbers against MacGregors and Freak Bux respectively. PAIN's younger brother (sister?) is likely favourites for gold.
In Division 9, there were low scores except for Pride of Lions who channeled their inner Simba/Aslan/Lion-O to put up 101 to vanquish Queen's Mate. Bomb Squad 3 awaits the feline crew in a matchup for gold.
Nine Planets continued their run to glory, brushing aside SOB Overlord, while Cursed Cats threw a massive 161-point score to dominate HEAT Team 1. The Division 10 crown, though, is a lock for 9PO.
Division 11 saw another set of low-scoring results. Raiders and Surfers and it sounds like a clash you'd see in one of those skateboard video games for the NES. Unfortunately for Gangsta Scoundrels and Scavengers, they have 2 wins combined across two rounds. Surely something has to give in their Round 3 clash?
Nest of Vipers and Spirits with the weird characters continued their march to a clash for the D12 crown. Freak Fractles (who I kind of want to call Fraggles) will hope to get off the mark against Bridge to Nowhere in Round 3.
Lost Souls are 2-0 after pummelling Ivalice. It's like the undead from the Nabreus Deadlands rose up and decimated the old kingdom of Nabudis at the height of the Archadian invasion of Dalmasca... you had to be there. Dueling Duo fell to Chuck Norris Approved, denying viewers of a battle of 2-0 sides to settle Division 13. In Divison 14, Trident Tempest continued their winning form, brushing aside Spex on the Beach. Free City bounced back to put aside Pathway Seekers. May be last chance saloon indeed, for the latter.
Cobra is quietly relaxing their way to a Division 15 crown. They may very well claim an unblemished perfect ride to the title, and setting a record for fewest individual wins to clinch. Kolor Krew stands in their way, but on the face of things it looks like another mismatch.
Division 16 is shaping up similarly for the Sins, although they've put up a good number more points on the board in their two shutouts. Can Va Va Voom spoil the party? With the currently low levels of players on both rosters, it's possible things could shift in an instant, but Sins have the advantage of one much higher-level combatant on their roster.
Anyway this is you-know-who, signing off. If they haven't terminated my contract, look for me in a subsequent report. KHRA - All the Heroes, All the Time. Back to you Samantha.
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