Thursday, August 18, 2022

BEE the Man: Season 1 Episode 4: A POST Summer Olympics Origin Story




Frank looked around carefully to make sure no one was around. He was in the Hall Of Heroes again, this time to lift something a bit larger than simply one of Hanzo's gadgets. This time he was here to steal Hanzo's spaceship, the Time Bandit. With the coast clear, he silently slipped inside and made his way to the control panel. After starting the engines, he radioed Mayor Justice.

"CJ, I got it." he said over a comlink.

"That's great!" came the Mayor over the earpiece. "Give me just 15 more minutes. I've almost acquired objective 2. Meet me out by your bedroom window."

"Why am I meeting you there?" asked Frank. "What's my room have to do with this?"

"Nothing, Frank!" answered the Mayor. "Just meet me there. I'll be using your window to make my getaway."

"Um........." replied Frank. "Alright, I guess. See you there in 15 minutes."

15 minutes later..........

Mayor Justice entered the back of the ship dressed in a hazmat suit and carrying a large lead box.

"Stay back, Frank!" he ordered. "This thing is radioactive!"

"WTH WERE YOU IN MY APARTMENT WITH THAT THING FOR THEN????" Frank yelled.

"Where do you think I got it from, Frank?" answered Mayor Justice. "It's your pillow."

"WHAT DID YOU DO TO MY PILLOW????" screamed Frank.

With a grin from ear to ear, and a look of madness in his eyes, the Mayor answered. "I turned it into a bomb, Frank!"

Seeing the look of "WTF????" written on face, the Mayor continued.

"I used 3000 supercharges on it, Frank." he said. "It now has the destructive capability of over 300 nuclear warheads! And with it, we can destroy the menace of these bees once and for all!"

"WAIT!!!! WAIT! Wait!" exclaimed Frank. "You mean to tell me you turned my pillow into a nuclear bomb?"

"Yeah." answered Justice.

"WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU???? And WHAT exactly would have happened if I had went to bed and laid my head on it?????"

"Oh, quit losing your head, Frank!" demanded the Mayor. "Look at you! You're fine!"

"ONLY CUZ I SAT AT THE HOSPITAL WATCHING OVER YOU!!!!" screamed Frank.

"See? I saved your life already. Frank, we'll deal with this later. Get us into orbit." Justice said. "We need to use this thing to destroy those bees. We need to be in orbit just over Hero City if this is going to work."

"If what's going to work?" asked Frank. "What are you planning on doing? Are we flying into the main hive and blowing it up?"

"I'm afraid that's not going to be enough, Frank." Justice answered. "We're gonna have to nuke them from space!"

"Wait." Frank paused. "WHAT????"

"It's the only way to save the world, Frank!" Justice said. "They're too entrenched in. If we don't kill them all now, the human race is doomed!"

"How is nuking everyone saving them????" Frank demanded. "If you nuke the planet, everyone's going to die!"

"Yes, Frank," answered the Mayor, "But we'll live!"

"HOW DOES THAT HELP HUMANITY????" screamed Frank. "WITH JUST YOU AND ME, THE WHOLE SPECIES DIES OUT, YOU FOOL!"

"HA, HA!" laughed the Mayor. "I'm way ahead of you, Frank! Not only did I grab your pillow, I went by the lab first and grabbed a few samples of Hanzo's DNA."

"Whelp, this sounds like trouble already." stated Frank. "How is the very thing that got us into this mess in the first place supposed to get us out of it?"

"Simple, Frank." replied Justice. "I'll use it to alter your DNA so that you can spontaneously evolve a vagina, and together we'll bring back the human race!"

"NO!" screamed Frank. "I DON'T WANNA SPONTANEOUSLY EVOLVE A VAGINA!!!!"

"Just push the damn button to drop the nuke, Frank!" yelled the Mayor. "Push the damn button!!!!"

Just then, another voice came in over the pair's comlinks as Frank pushed the Mayor away from the button that would drop the nuclear pillow..

"Anomaly, do you read?" Super Rakly's voice asked over the coms.

"Yeah, Rakly." replied Frank to his superhero name, while still pushing Justice away. "What's up?"

"Where are you?" asked Super Rakly. "We have an emergency down here and both you and Island are AWOL. You're supposed to be at the hospital."

"Um, yeah...... uh......." Frank stalled.

"It's Rakly." he said to Justice.

"I know, it's Rakly." replied Justice. "Ask him what he wants."

"Uhm..... We're just up here monitoring the situation from space. Uh...... Nothing to report here. Uhm......... All's well. Uh......... So, what's up, Rakly?" he asked into his comlink.

"We have some new information on the bees." Rakly said. "It looks like we might know what caused them. We need you and Island to get back here ASAP."

"THEY KNOW IT'S US!!!!" screamed Mayor Justice. "PUSH THE GD BUTTON, FRANK!!!!"

"It seems the bees are genetically enhanced with Fuma Hanzo's DNA." continued Super Rakly. "We're gathering a team to confront him about the situation."

"Yeah!" said Mayor Justice over the comlink. "This has Hanzo's fingerprints written all over it. GD Hanzo! Of course this is his fault! I say we don't even let him know we're coming. Just sneak up on him and BLAMMO! Lights out, mfer! That'll teach him for causing the end of the world as we know it."

"Is that you, Island?" asked Rakly. "Glad to hear you're doing better. Now, the two of you get back down here so we can brief you on what we know and what we're planning to do about it."

"On our way to the briefing for OPERATION: KILL HANZO." the Mayor replied back to Rakly.

"No one's killing anyone." Rakly replied. "We're just going on a fact finding mission."

"I don't know, Rakly." argued Mayor Justice. "I really think we need to just off him without telling him why we're there. You know he's just going to lie through his teeth about his involvement. We can't give him that chance."

"NO ONE'S KILLING ANYONE!!!!" yelled Rakly. "Now get back here, pronto!"

To Be Continued.............
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