By: Todd Goode ID# 12205
“This is Glacier and Oswald Thaddeus Frosterton the 1st back with the results of round 1 of FROSTY LWS 6 and it certainly has been one hail of a round. Whattaya think Oswald?”
“You snow it my Glacial friend, anyway way you ice it, round 1 is gone with the icy cold wind.”
“Icy what you done there, you big snowball but let’s set the puns ice-ide and give the folks some frosty results.”
“Okay, but if you start singing ‘Do You Want to Build a Snowman’ one more time, I’m gonna give you a fat lip.”
“In division 1, WMD leaves The 5th Precinct: Galactic lost in cold space 130-0 and The 5th Precinct: Omniversal Traffic Cops were not having any of the Angels of Sorcery’s mind numbing cold spells. The 5th arrested that action 128-22.”
“So much for putting the puns ice-ide. Are we really going to do this Glacier?”
“Why yes, Oswald, we are gonna try. Now grab your snowballs and tell us about the final scores of division 2.”
“Okay Coldylocks, I will. Division 2 has Avengers 51 1st string defeats NMDS 127-20 and Into the Darkness freezes the Seraphim Angels at 92-44.”
“Not bad Oswald. In division 3, Avengers 51 2nd string has beaten the Psycho Squad 142-0 and Legacy of Spawn fights tooth and hail for a 116-68 victory.”
“In division 4, the Red Guard has left the 5th Precinct: Space Force frosted in Space 94-67. The penguin infused Avengers 51 3rd string has flipper whipped the RG- Creatures of the Night 111-7. The Suicide Squad beats Tygger’s Freak Show 125-47 leaving them all kinds of frostrated. The Aussie Freaks didn’t weather the blizzard to well against the 5th Precinct: Instigators and got a bad case of frostbite, they lost 125-4. Your turn Oswald.”
“Thanks Glacier. In division 5 NMDS 2 gets iced by Avengers 51 4thstring 158-10. The 5th Precinct: Code Blue blew it and fall to The Star Force 79-12. Pain Inc beat the Illiterate Cowboys like a frozen side of beef 86-19. The A-Team beats the ice chips out of the 5th Precinct: Wise Guys 123-12.”
“Hey! Coldylocks. How am I doing with these puns?”
“You’re doing great Oswald; you’re spitting puns like its snowbodies business.”
“Division 6 probably has the warmest spot this round as The Magnificent Seven fires the 5thPrecinct: Night Shift 68-44. Avengers 51 5th string defeats 5th Precinct: Brutality by a bone chilling 72-46. NobleGates upset Mojo’s Dojo 51-9. I blame the abominable snowman. To round out division 6, the 5th Precinct: Buddy Cops fight the cold back and fight back The Freaks of Nature and re-take their lead, 56-52. Man if looks could chill.”
“What can I say about division 7? What can I say? The only team that seemed show up for ROUND 1 battle was FireFly Fun Haus and they demolished the 5th Precinct: Kung Fu Hustle 166-1. The Wild[51]cards falls to Destruction 35-13. Suffering barely shows up but defeats the Loon Platoon 7-0 and in a disappointing no-show S7 and The Devious Dozen both got frozen goose eggs and not the golden kind. Hopefully, round 2 will be better. I’m guessing the new 1/3 rule may have had a big part in this action.”
“Overall, it was a pretty good first round and some of the puns were even good. Let’s not do puns anymore Oswald. I’m going to have to ice my brain from the pun pain.”
“That wraps up the final results of round 1 of FROSTY LWS 6. It’s time for the leagues to rest up and recuperate from all the cold stone slams and have a hot meal and some relax time in the hot tubs and prepare for round 2. This has been Glacier and Oswald Thaddeus Frosterton the 1st reporting. Good night everyone.”
(As Glacier and Oswald walk away, Glacier starts singing, ‘Do You Want to Build a Snowman’ and we hear a thud a crash and a bit of a scream then Oswald mumble, “You’re still an ice hole, I warned ya!” and then we hear a weak snort by Glacier who is lying prostrate, “Okaaay. By.”)
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