By ♦S♦U♦P♦E♦R♦5¹♦R♦A♦K♦L♦Y♦ ID: 11054
Malice sat in his damp cave feverishly taking a rag to his recently stumbled-into-medal, in hopes of getting it as lustrous as possible.
In a rough high pitched voice not so different from that of the Golem, Smeagol- "Almost there, almost there, it's the same. The same I tell ya. Gold, bronze, it's the same. They're both shiny, and the color when shiny is sometimes same, saaaame! All I get is gold, all golds all day every day all the time doing like Dak do when Dak does what Dak do.........
Malice tossed his medal into a pile of trinkets that glimmered to a faint glow of sunlight coming through a crack in the ceiling of the cave. As he raised his head and peered towards the opening of the cave, he caught sight of a glint in the dirt just outside the opening. He quickly grabbed his jacket, a disheveled brown bomber jacket, that had a diamond drawn on the left front pocket, with a red crayon. He quickly threw it on and hobbled halfway towards the exit of the cave before dropping to all four limbs and sprinting in predator fashion towards the glint in the dirt. As he reached his destination and looked down, he found himself staring face to face with ole Abe Lincoln. Lincoln didn't have a chance in the world, for he was made of copper and too closely resembled gold. In a split-second, Malice had picked up Mr. Lincoln, given it a kiss and started his 4 limbed sprint back into the cave. In no time at all, poor Abe's face was being warmed and worn away by Malice once again feverishly ragging away and chanting in a trance like state, "All I get is gold, all golds all day every day all the time doing like Dak do when Dak does what Dak do.........".
As this continued, he suddenly heard a voice out of nowhere ominously and in the fashion of Thurl Ravenscroft singing "You're a Mean One, Mr. Grinch", say "You're an idiot! That's not gold!"........the sound......was.......coming........out of him. The high pitched Golem voice replied, "Yes it is, it's gold, look at it, everything is gold in the right light with the right shine! You don't know what you're talking about..... leave me alone. I just want to sit by my fire holding my gold while I stare out at the lake and puff into peacery." The Ravenscroft voice snapped back, "Shut your whiny mouth. We didn't get gold this time, we didn't even get silver, you're shining a bronze medal, but it's ok, I have plans. No, not this war, but the next. We are coming MP heavy, and we are going to show everyone what we can do when we do what we do. I've already got plans with everyone and you know Wargasm. It's coming, they all know it.....grahahaha choo choo motherclucker!"
Malice took a hit of his special mixture he rolled himself, called Bronze Buddha with his right hand. The Golem voice screeched, "Hey, let me get a hit!" The Ravenscroft voice replied, "No, you're confused enough as it is!"
Just at that moment his left hand grabbed his right hand attempting to take the Bronze Buddha away. His right hand dodged the attempt and pushed the left hand away while dropping the Bronze Buddha into the fire. Both voices simultaneously yelled at the top of their lungs, "Noooooooooooo!" The left and the right fists both clenched so hard that the elongated and dirt ridden fingernails drew blood. Both fists swung towards his pale face, connecting at the same time on their respective side's jaw.
Malice dropped to the floor with a defeated thud. There he lay, again, until morning. As the sun began to creep into the cave, Malice wondered what had happened. He stood up and heard someone in a Howard the Duck like voice say, "It's a new day, what are we going to do today?" Again the sound was emanating from himself. A large group of voices started to speak up and suggest what to do all at once. ""Shhhhhhh" Howard quipped, just before Ravenscroft and Golem hollered in synch, "Same thing we do everyday Howard........try to take over the gold............"
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