Recap of Round 3: 5th Precinct: Omniversal Traffic Cops vs 5th Precinct Galactic

By Kid Chaos: ID: 11164

“Zavier McXie here and I am definitely not Kid Chaos’s secret I.D.. “.

“I am Susan Lassiter and I am definitely not Kid Chaos’s other secret I.D..”.

“Today is the final day of Egg-celsior!  What are your thoughts Zavier?”.

Assuming a strange nasal intonation and staccato delivery, Zavier begins speaking:

“Today our plucky police pugilists are in a moral conundrum of epic scope, a fratricidal fracas of fuzz, an internecine imbroglio of legal institutions.  Our stalwart defenders of justice are facing off against another squad supreme of the streets, another committed company of cops, 5th Precinct Galactic.”

“Coming into today's meeting of marvelous Mounties, both heroic herds of heroism have the same record of 0-2.”

“Leading the galactic gang of gumshoes is the intrepid tyke of terror, riotous rider of rectitude...Bartman!”

“From parts unknown overseeing the ominous omniversal ombudsmen of the law is that master of microscopic mechanisms, dreadful detective from other dimensions...Legionnaire Solomon⁵ᵗʰ!”

“Zavier, earth to Zavier, what are you doing?”.

“Why did you interrupt me when I was channeling my inner Howard Cosell?’

“Get to the contest.  We don’t have all night.”.

“Okay, okay.  Sheesh try to bring a little culture and you bite my head off.” muttered Zavier under his breath.

“You know I have super hearing, right?”

“Yeah, yeah.  Ahem.  The contest began with a fierce onslaught by Bartman, the leader of  5th Precinct Galactic, he had limited success against our stalwarts.  Our very own Shadow Walker interrupted the skateboarding wonder followed by Legionnaire Solomon⁵ᵗʰ thundering counter attack Crossroads followed our leader with a steamroller rush of her own.  With a large early lead, the Omniversal Traffic Cops continue to pile on.”

“The final result has our glorious gang of g-men taking the game 148-40.”

“Thanks Zavier, now back to you Jay.”

“Who is Howard Cosell?” muttered Susan as the scene fades to Jay.

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A little surprise awaits you in the Avatar Store!!!

Check out the AVATAR STORE for an egg-citing little surprise! 

Put them on and head to Easter Village... something quacky awaits you there...

*****

Strange Quark woke up to the sound of bunnies hopping about. He turned to see what it was all about but instead found himself in Easter Village, looking somewhat stranger than normal...

What is going on in Easter Village?

Find out now! 

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League War 7 Update: Day Three - Halftime

Today has been a rollercoaster of emotions. Looking at the Division 5 match-ups again, it has been a very different story than the last two days.  The Galaxy Rangers are ahead 3-to-1 against the Psycho Squad, however most of the Squad has not even taken the field. This fight could hinge on whether or not they show. I sent a few calls to see if they were awake.  I got a voicemail.

The Galaxy Rangers have made strong showing and have been very careful of their targets.  This round is much more like Chess, and less like beating each other with sticks.

Over in the other Division 5 Match-up, things are a lot more one-sided so far.  The current standing is at 117 - 14, in the Suicide Squads favor.  I was expecting this to be a much more intense battle.  

The key to this match-up has been by watching how the battles have unfolded.  At the very beginning, the 5th took an active role in attacking, but it seems as if it was quickly apparent they were not a match for the Suicide Squad.  One or to of the 5th has held their own, but Ice: Canadian Damages deserves the MVP for the 5th: Space Force this round. The Canadian on Ice has managed to secure most of the wins.

With several losses going to the Suiciders point total, the 5th seemed to have decided to sit back and just let the pain roll in.  It was clear early on that without major changes to their gear, they were not going to be able to take the Squad. Suicide Squad has been more than happy to oblige in taking the 5th to task.  

So one of the match-ups is too early to call for sure, but the other is looking like the goose is cooked.  If the point totals don't change much, we will be looking at the following Awards:

(‡ ☠SUเCเD€ SQU₳Đ☠ ‡ - Gold

5th Precinct: Space Force: Silver

G^L^XY R^N63R5 - Bronze

ᎮᏕყƈɧơ Ꮥϙųąɖ: Ìռנʊֆȶɨƈɛ ㄥέคɠยέ - Wood

Participation awards only apply if you made at least 8 successful attacks, so it will be important for ᎮᏕყƈɧơ Ꮥϙųąɖ: Ìռנʊֆȶɨƈɛ ㄥέคɠยέ to at least get those if they can not steal the Bronze from the G^L^XY R^N63R5.

From the bleachers, this is Lykos MacGregor reporting.

ID: 18321

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League War Egg-celsior Round Three Update: Edge-of-Your-Seat Egg-citement!!!

Chaz Hamilton, BADGE’s official Sentinel liaison

reporter, aboard the Space Arena for the third and final round of League War Egg-celsior. What an exciting tournament we have had so far today. Let’s look at some highlights for the day so far.

Let’s start with the closest match currently being fought. In Division Seven, the B Team and the Magnificent Seven are within one point of one another, 39-38. They are both fighting hard to earn the Silver for this division, as the Avengers 51 and NobleGates go toe-to-toe for the gold. Pappy the Black and El Rey have both recently taken to the field and scored several wins for the Magnificent Seven while Vampbat has taken a recent loss against Johnó of the B Team. This might prove to be a nail biter as we head deeper into the evening.

Overall, the Avengers 51 organization seems to be dominating multiple divisions, but not all at the moment. In Division 9, the Avengers 51 Rabbit Pink Bunnies has a nearly unsurmountable lead against the A Team in the battle for gold. In Division 8, Avengers 51 has a slightly smaller lead as it mounts its assault on the Raider Nation.

PAIN Inc. has dominated the Division 6 gold attempt by the Star Force, having incurred 77 wins to the Star Force’s 3. It is fair to note that this is one of the two divisions without an Avengers 51 presence. Division 5 has the other Avengers 51 free section of this event where the Suicide Squad has a more than impressive lead over one of the two 5th Precinct: Space Forces gold medal challenges. The score there is 128-14 in favor of the Suicide Squad.

The other opportunity for gold for the 5th Precinct: Section 8 Pool Hall and Bar is in Division 4, where they have been stalled by the Avengers 51, 121-48. The 5th Precinct does have to monopoly of family teams fighting one another this round. Division 6 has Code Blue facing the Wise Guys for silver while Division One has the Omniversal Traffic Cops dancing with Galactic for bronze.

Division Three has the Avengers 51 with a nearly three-to-one lead over Legacy of Spawn with a tally of 134-50. There is also a close battle there with overtime potential between the SOB HUNTER/KILLERS and the Seraphim Angels, 60-64 repeatedly.

Division Two has the Avengers 51 yet again dominating the division, this time against the Angels of Sorcery, 127-17. NMDS isn’t clowning around with the 5th Precinct: Kung Fu Hustle, 113-38.

Finally, Division One has proven to be the exception to the trend of League Wars Egg-celsior. The Avengers 51 is down by seventeen as they fight WMD-Black Order, 52-35. Now, this division has been in flux, at one time being tied 31-31, so nothing is for certain until the end. There have been some more than unbelievable matches this round between these two legendary leagues. A battle between CrossBones and The Wizard will go down as proof perfect of effective gear builds that utilize regeneration while another match between Midgarsormr and Doctor Strange Sorcerer Supreme has us speechless.

Here are links to both those fights:

Round 3: CrossBones Challenges the Wizard

Round 3: Midgardsormr Challenges Doctor Strange Sorcerer Supreme

Keep watching as these challenger fight on. I'll be there this evening with the final results, but trust me, some of these fights you have to see for yourself.

Chaz Hamilton out!

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Recap of Round 2 ][☣][ WMD - Black Order vs 5th Precinct: Omniversal Traffic Cops

By Kid Chaos: ID: 11164

“Zavier McXie here and I am definitely not Kid Chaos’s secret I.D.. “.

“I am Susan Lassiter and I am definitely not Kid Chaos’s other secret I.D..”.

“Well, with today’s round 2 league wars action in the books, Egg-celsior is more than half over.”.

“Yes it is.  In today’s competition our heroes the Omniversal Traffic Cops of the 5th Precinct faced off against the Black Order of WMD.  Losing with a final score of 11 to 147.  Our boys and girl came out of the conflagration with their heads held high and the fires of competition burning brightly in their hearts!”.

“So, Zavier, what did we learn about 5th Precinct’s Omniversal Traffic Cops?”.

“Tri-blade ◄[RD]►can stab you from far, far away?”

“Kid Chaos has issues.”

“Bro, Dr. Silver Strange Surfer⁵ᵗʰs never went tombstoning no matter how many noahs tried to make him wipeout.”.

“Shadow Walker may be dating dazzler.”.

“Legionnaire Solomon⁵ᵗʰ has a very, very hard jaw.”.

"Jack Sparrow is a little bigger than Johnny Depp.”.

“Vendetta is Italian!”

“Crossroads’ battlecry is ‘Laissez les bons temps rouler ‘.”

“~666~GhOsTfAcEKiLla is very friendly with the darkside for a cop.”.

“That’s interesting. Now Zavier what have we learned about the team as a whole?”.

“They have a large number of masochists on their team?”.

“No Zavier...ehrr...maybe.  What else?”.

“They’re very bouncy.”.

“Keep going.”.

“They have a very large budget for medical supplies.”.

“I’ll give you that.”.

“Back to you Jay.”

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The Avenger's list of the top 25 (over level 300)

By Avenger Id# 14779

Robert Steele here hoping you are enjoying an Eggcellent League wars. With the latest league wars comes the demand for another top 25 list. This time it will be the 25 most powerful hero's and villains over the level of 300. With 47 hardboiled contenders will the list be scrambled.? Is there  a new number 1? With dozens of toons to consider I am sure the list won't go over easy. Some rotten eggs will disagree but you can't make a omelet without breaking a few eggs. 

#25 Timebender Narrowly went missing the last list ,kind of like a kid on a milk carton. He is in at #25. 

#24 Vendetta vows to be higher on the list the next time. Marshall Law seem to be helping him make his case. 

#23 The Closer After smacking the Avenger who is now an Avenger around, he drives his way onto the lot.

#22 Tri-Blade The master of the duel is bringing home the bacon.

#21 Dr Silver Strange Surfer. We are no strangers to his might. beware his power, Surfers light, like his eggs.

#20 Toxic Britney Spears biggest fan has scrambled many an enemy’s yoke.

#19 Lumpsum We hear  he likes his eggs lumpy like Timebender likes his milk. 

#18 Falconetti The newest member of WMD, KHHANNN!!!!!! he make a difference. 

#17 Pain-Guin Gaining 74 levels since roster freeze has the Guin playing with the big boyz. Hopez he nu getz eggz on his mug. He wanted the list posted ASAP. Something about there can be  only 1 Guin on the list.

#16 The Gentleman He’s poached many a win in his time. With style.

#15 Shinobi There’s always a ninja or two hiding on the list. Can you find them. We call it the great Ninja egg hunt. Hey they can’t all be funny.

#14 The Wizard  With his Dragon wife egging him on to victory is it eggsured?

#13 Shadow walker has become the crème? Egg crème of the 5th.

#12 DaMon  The all-time wins leader is looking for a few more in the finals . He hopes the Avengers lay an egg vs him.

#11 The Mayor promise’s to not cheat, or at least not get caught doing it. He is gearing up on a breakfast of Snake and eggs.  

And now the top ten.

#10 Fuma another ninja sighting or lack of it? I don’t see any Trace of him. Will WMD?

#9 Martial Law moves into the top 10 and maybe the top 7 of the Avengers, He likes his eggs raw, like his women.

#8 Heretic  looks like he is coming up short in his quest for more head for the finals. 

That’s slots !   Head slots! Are you trying to get me fired?

#7 Crossbones  He’s fast, is there a that’s what she said joke here. By the way he is glaring at me I think not. I think I’ve made him cross.

#6 Meta  His name is as big as his damage. He’s been winning a lot of gold in events, so much so,  I hear he is showering in it..  

#5 Punlork  Had a Magnificent egg salad sandwich for breakfast. WMD for dinner.  Gold medal for dessert?

#4 Midgarsormr  We hear he went by the Mayors’ for some raw sausage to go with his eggs. They have a mixed up relationship. 

# 3 The Avenger who is an Avenger looks to face off vs his old team. They aren’t really that tough? Are they?  An eggcelant question.

#2 Skelly WMDs leader eggtorts his team into the finals once again. 

#1 Hotwings  He likes his eggs burnt like all the bases he has been hitting. Number one but can he hold it? The lead! Can he hold the lead. Sheesh!

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LW7: NobleGates vs Avengers 51

By #21161 M@D M@X 

For NobleGates this will be the second time entering League Wars. The first LW was a great run finishing in second place. We tried  going so low we would have a chance at Gold but in the end was facing Avengers and learned how we fell short. With a little  time passing by a new strategy was considered.  A 2 man army running  8 toons. Much to my surprise  this LW Avengers have found NobleGates to be the  team to overcome.  Scouts have been terrorizing the neighborhood trying to gather as much information as possible.  

Aps how are we going to compete with these guys? They are a wrecking ball do we even stand a chance?

The Chef #13804  

We will stand and fight win lose or draw. We joined together to enjoy the battles win lose or draw. The Avengers are a great team that rise to a challenge. So let's see what we can do against them!

M@D M@X: So just to Recap you think just the 2 of us can give them a fight to remember?  Either way win or lose we are in this for fun so let's give it a go!

The Aps #10908  Patients and commitment will eventually get us a gold in LWs. We are two guys running a whole League. All in all we are doing  great, no drama, no worries, no fighting amongst each other. We fight where we can and push to be better each LWs. For 8 toons being  ran by 2 people we are doing  great all things  considered. Look at it this way, Avengers are scouting us meaning that they are looking at us as competitors. We may not walk away on top of this war but they didn't  dismiss the potential here. Cheers Avengers NobleGates isn't going anywhere.

M@D M@X: Being  on both sides of this fight I've enjoyed the battles. Facing off against Avengers is definitely not a great idea but hey it will definitely be one heck of a uphill battle. Maybe one day we will face off on more even grounds and make it a epic battle. Being  a tiny team made up of 2 players we cant move around the divisions much at all without  breaking up the team. The first war we went low and learned from our mistakes. This time we met Avengers with our best. Even tho they are giving us the benefit of a competitive team against them its futile. Much respect Avengers  you guys are smart strong  players. Keep in mind NobleGates stands our ground we dont run win or lose. The more we face the stronger we get, and the Tournament of Power continues. To all League Wars teams Cheers and M@D respect let's give it our all.

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League War Egg-celsior: Round Two Wrap-Up Edition

Bok, bok, bok, BACAW!!! League Wars Egg-celsior.

This is Chaz Hamilton, bringing you the recap of Round Two of the current installment of the ever popular League War events.

What a bunch of mother-cluckers… We’ve assembled a special group of commentators for each division’s round recap. First, we have Foghorn Leghorn in Division 9.

That’s a joke, I say that’s a joke, son. Division 9, I say, where do I start. I think that Avengers 51: Rabid Pink Bunnies told the loon platoon “go away boy, you’re bothering me,” and the loon platoon listened. 34-0. The A-Team had a better exchange with the Sensational Seven, winning 30-20, but I say, I think they were afraid to come out swinging. It was more of a slap-fight than a competition with so few actual battles. Two teams that were about as sharp as a bowling balls were the Avengers 21 Mini and the Rock n Wrestling Connection. They got rolled around by the Star Force: Junior League (99-1) and L.U.S.H. (126-5) respectively. Now I need to go see about some chicken hawk messin’ around near my henhouse. Hopefully the next round will have some fights with contenders that aren’t as timid as canaries in a cathouse.

For Division Eight, we have by popular demand, EB himself.

Hi everyone! Man, its good to see you all. I’ve been sooo busy preparing a special surprise for everyone that I lost all track of time. Do you want to know what I’ve been up to? I bet you do. I’m sure you’ve seen the signs for Easter Village, haven’t you? If you haven’t, you need to look for it. It’s going to be egg-ceptional. And egg-stravaganza of fun for everyone. Come on over and see what I’ve gotten prepared for all of you.

<<A buzz goes off on EB’s pager>>

Ok, ok, Nova. I’ll tell them about Division 8, but I have to make it quick. I have a new batch of triple-dipped espresso beans dipped in Mexican chocolate that I need to test. Anyone want a taste? No. Why not? It’s not going to give you the caffeine jitters or anything—

<<The buzzer goes off again>>

Division Eight. Avengers 51 beats SUFFERING, 42-7. Raider Nation beats the WTF’ers 30-10. FireFly Fun Haus wins against the Purple Onion, 88-34. Finally, Mojo’s Dojo stomps the 5th Precinct Buddy Cops 52-1. Wow. 52 to 1. That’s the same ratio I use for cups of milk chocolate to dark chocolate for my latest cream filled egg, the Nova-licious. The secret ingredient in that one is a little bit of—

<Signal cut off at source>

For Division 7, let me introduce Camilla and Gonzo.

Hello. Hello. Hello. For my next act, Camilla is going to cluck out the scores for Division Seven of League Wars Egg-celsior as I ride my motorcycle around the outside hull of the BADGE Stellar Arena. Give me a cluck-down, Camilla.

Three, Two, One—

What, why not?

Oh, I’m sorry viewers. I’ve just been informed that Fozzy Bear didn’t get my paperwork in time to perform my stunt. I’ll just go over the scores instead for you. Freaks of Nature defeats the 5th Precinct: Night Shift 75-38. I’ve been called a freak of nature several hundred times. Maybe I can join them next season. The Magnificent Seven wins against the Team C+ with a narrow margin, 74-65. That’s pretty close, especially when compared to the NobleGates win against the B Team in their match, where the NobleGates won 65-17. The B Team? Hmmm. I wonder. A team of bees could be just what my daredevil act is missing. I’ll have to contact their leader, PappaBowTie, and see what kind of insurance policy they have. Little surprise here as the Avengers 51 defeats the Suicide Squad #2, 96-34. Marvel always beats DC, unless we’re talking the small screen.

Thank you Gonzo. Next, Division 6 recap by… really… that’s what she goes by? Division 6 recap by the Chicken Lady.

Do you have a Quarter??? BAK.

Sure, I’ll read it if you pay me a quarter.

5th Precinct: Code Blue defeated The Justice League, 73-23. Can I have my quarter now? No. I have to read more? OK.

5th Precinct Wise Guys defeat the Aussie Freaks, 95-90. How about now?? No. But I need a quarter so I can ride the pony like I did the day before. Read more… OK.

PAIN Inc. defeats Time’s Arrow, 87-14. Now? I have to ride my pony. It feels so good. One more… OK.

The Star Force defeats Illiterate Cowboy Est., 62-43. Give me my quarter. Give me my QUARTER. GIVE ME MY QUARTER.

bak… Bak… Bak…Bak. BAK. BAK. BAAAKKK!!! BACCAW!!!! <an explosion of feathers>

Th… th… thank you. I’ll see you again tomorrow, horsey.

OK, who is vetting these special announcers? Someone needs to be fired. Division 5 will be presented by the head of the world’s second largest fast-food restaurant chains, Colonel Sanders.

Well howdy League War fans. I’m mighty pleased

to be here sharing with you the scores from Division 5. Being the spokesperson for KFC, people often think I only know how to talk about chicken. I’m here to show that I can do more than talk about one of my $20 Fill-Up buckets or a two-piece and a biscuit. Firstly, we have the mighty fine 5th Precinct: Space Force deep frying the Galaxy Rangers. 124-48 is a rightly impressive score. God bless those Galaxy Rangers. They tried their little hearts out, didn’t they? Next, the Suicide Squad curb-stomped the Psycho Squad: Injustice League with a decisive 94-0 victory. Congratulations to all of those valiant combatants. I bet you’re all plum tuckered out after a hard day fighting. Why don’t you come on down and have some dinner at one of my fine establishments, ya hear?

Thanks, Colonel. Thank you for the frequent product placement talking points.

I hope you all are out there keeping your children well, because our next presenter from Marvel Comics isn’t one who supports bad parenting. I present Nanny!

Why are you children spending so much time fighting against one another? You should be ashamed. Good boys and girls don’t fight. They play dress up and sophisticated games like chess. If you can’t learn to behave yourselves better, I’ll do to you what I did to little miss misguided Storm. That Professor took her and made her into such an unfortunate little girl, didn’t he Orphan Maker? As for the scores, Avengers 51 had a flawless victory over Tygger’s Freak Show. That doesn’t sound fair at all, does it. 114-0. I think someone needs to teach these Avenger 51 people to be better sports, beating up on those poor, unfortunate children. Shame. The other match was slightly better. Well, not really. The mean bullies of 5th Precinct: Section 8 Pool Hall and Bar whipped the RG Creatures of the Night, 221-56. Hasn’t anyone taught the 5th Precinct league to be kind to animals? Orphan Maker, get the suits ready. We have some work to do.

Division Three has a royal guest presenter. King Humpty Dumpty, fresh from a visit to his reconstructive surgeon is here with those scores.

NO. I will not ascend the staircase to the second floor.

I do herby declare that no building or construction shall be made more than ten feet above ground level. Furthermore, a layer of soft mattresses will be place around all fencing and walls, in order to maintain the public safety of all citizens. Now, on to the scores. Legacy of Spawn has conquered the SOB HUNTER/KILLER league 95-67. Bravo to these fine champions. Also, in this division, the Avengers 51 proved their merit by dispatching the Seraphim Angels, 111-28. Wait, who is that there, taking my photograph? No, stop it. No pictures. I was not put back together with Gorilla Glue. Stay back. Guards. Get me back to my protective carton.

For Division 2, straight from the South Pole, we have Zen’s second cousin by marriage, Shequanda.

Hey. I wanted to come here and talk to the people and let the world know how proud we are of Zen, my man. Without him, nobody would appreciate our kind as we should be. We’re not meant to be kept in zoos so you can gawk at us through thick panes of glass. No. We’re people, just like all the rest of you. We just have flippers and a fondness for ice. That’s all. As for league wars, well, we all knew that the Avengers 51` was going to come out on top again. 157-13 vs those krazy clown assassins of the NMDS. Clowns are fun and all, but everyone knows that penguins trump carnival folks. Oh, yeah, if anyone is interested, Angels of Sorcery beat the 5th Precinct: Kung Fu Hustle 145-8. That’s cool. Good job. We’ll see what you Angels can do against the Avengers 51 next round.

Director Nova himself is here to announce the scores for Division One. Let’s welcome him with a round of applause.

No need, no need. I have to say I am proud of all the combatants we have seen enter League Wars Egg-celsior. Each and every one of you has shown a pride in your individual leagues that shows me the world is in good hands, whatever the future may hold. Don’t become complacent in your efforts to keep this world safe. Operatives of BADGE are still investigating the happenings in Las Vegas to determine who or what caused the attack by the giant robot. Don’t forget to turn in your individual reports on your activities during that encounter and the previous battle against Krampus and Lady Nova. Your input on your personal activities during these events is important to me.

As to League Wars Egg-celsior, as many believed would be the case, the Avengers 51 league will face the WMD-Black Order in the final round, vying for the gold ranking and rewards pertaining to it. My sincere best wishes go out to both of your leagues. 5th Precinct Omniversal Traffic Cops, you showed merit in your participation, even if you were defeated 147-11. Eleven wins against the Avengers 51 is something to be proud of, and more importantly, to build on. The other 5th Precinct league, the 5th Precinct Galactic, showed courage stepping onto the field of battle versus the winners of the last two league wars, the WMD-Black Order. Raw numbers might show a score of 116-0, but that does not reflect the tremendous journey each of you took to climb to this summit of competition. You honor your fellow heroes with your presence here alone.

As for the two winning leagues, I look forward to your competition in two days. I expect nothing to be left on the floor as you face one another. No quarter given or asked. Until then, rest and recharge your mettle. You are going to need every ounce of fortitude as you stand toe to toe against your opposition on the field of battle. Good luck, and don’t foul it up. (comment edited for younger Sentinel readers)

We will see you all on Wednesday for the final round of League Wars Egg-celsior. This has been Chaz Hamilton, BADGE’s official reporter from the Sentinel bringing you this round two recap.

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League War 7 Update: Day Two - Halftime by Lykos

Have you ever felt like you are clearly in the wrong place, you were told you were supposed to be there, but you are obviously so far over your head you feel it must have been a mistake?

Welcome to Round Two! Division 5 Halftime is pretty much a clear win for the top two teams right now. Suicide Squad vs. Psycho Squad: Injustice League has been extremely one-sided so far with the standing at 70 - 0. Ouch!

 
Psycho's tried a few attacks and it was just a Big No; we were just handing them free points. I would be shocked if that Goose Egg (Get it? Egg-Celsior? Goose Egg? Nevermind...) gained any points.
Since I was completely un-needed in the ring, I wandered on over to see how the Galaxy Rangers were fairing against the 5th Precinct: Space Force! The Rangers have managed to NOT get a goose egg (Seriously? That's not funny? Fine.) against the 5th, but it is still a clearly one-sided match there as well. The 5th is is showing the true meaning of Police Brutality.

 
A big shout out to both N.O.C. COBRA ZULU and The Sword of Gerraxia for making a stand, but it is just not enough so far to push back against the 5th.

I would expect we will be seeing a battle of The Galaxy Rangers vs. the Psycho Squad in Round 3, the winner taking Bronze, the loser hoping to have enough wins to get the participation award. There will be a HUGE fight between Suicide Squad vs. 5th Precinct: Space Force. *THAT* will be a fight to watch as both of those teams will be battling it out for Gold. I already have a seat reserved and popcorn ready.

This is Lykos MacGregor reporting from the concession lines no where near the battlefield.
ID: 18321

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League War Egg-celsior!!! Never Count the Win until the Win is Won!!!

By Chaz Hamilton

On the left, we have CrossBones of the Avengers 51. On the right, Dr. Silver Strange Surfer of the 5th Precinct Omniversal Traffic Cops. Two combatants in leagues fighting one another in Division One.

 

In the court of public opinion, the overall expectation is for the Avengers 51 to take the second round of battle, which is more than likely true.

But that doesn’t mean that surprise twists can’t throw a wrench in any well-devised plan.

The match begins with the typical preamble.

☠ CrossBones ☠ activates their gear
Attacker: ☠ CrossBones ☠ 2095 Health
Defender: Dr. Silver Strange Surfer⁵ᵗʰ 1845 Health

The first attack comes from Dr. Silver Strange Surfer, obviously doing his best win this match. Dr. Silver Strange Surfer draws first blood.

Dr. Silver Strange Surfer⁵ᵗʰ hits ☠ CrossBones ☠ with Thunder Strike Resist 52% (X 3) for >> 96 << +18 Tec [[[[Stun resisted]]]] damage, bringing them down to 1981 (☠ CrossBones ☠ defense is lowered by 15%), stealing their DEF but they take 19 Aura Damage and they Regen 5 HP ( 14 life stolen from ☠ CrossBones ☠)

CrossBones makes his attack, but Dr. Silver Strange Surfer evades. Taking advantage of the miss, Dr. Silver Strange Surfer ripostes.

Dr. Silver Strange Surfer⁵ᵗʰ hits ☠ CrossBones ☠ with Endzone Frenzy Resist 52% for >> 39 << +18 Tec damage, bringing them down to 1933, stealing their DEF but they take 19 Aura Damage and they Regen 5 HP ( 14 life stolen from ☠ CrossBones ☠)

CrossBones second blow connects, dealing a substantial amount of damage.

☠ CrossBones ☠ hits Dr. Silver Strange Surfer⁵ᵗʰ with Murder Hornets (X 3) for >> 264 << +16 Ele +119 Tec +74 Mag [[[[Stun resisted]]]] damage, bringing them down to 1372, stealing their ATK, stealing their DEF and they Regen 9 HP ( 68 life stolen from Dr. Silver Strange Surfer⁵ᵗʰ )

Unphased, Dr. Silver Strange Surfer returns the blow.

Dr. Silver Strange Surfer⁵ᵗʰ hits ☠ CrossBones ☠ with The Floor Is Lava Resist 52% (X 1.8) for >> 70 << +18 Tec [[[[Stun resisted]]]] damage, bringing them down to 1922 (☠ CrossBones ☠ defense is lowered by 15%) but they take 19 Aura Damage and they Regen 11 HP

Clearly, CrossBones has prepared himself to defend against a Magic build. Digging deep, CrossBones delivers another substantial blow to his opponent.

☠ CrossBones ☠ hits Dr. Silver Strange Surfer⁵ᵗʰ with Shrink Ray (X 3) for >> 276 << +16 Ele +119 Tec +74 Mag damage, bringing them down to 879 and they Regen 9 HP ( 29 life stolen from Dr. Silver Strange Surfer⁵ᵗʰ )

At this point, Dr. Silver Strange Surfer is below half his beginning health while CrossBones is down by just over five percent of his. Las Vegas odds might put this match in the done-and-over column, but then there is a slight shift to the match.

Refusing to give up, Dr. Silver Strange Surfer strikes again.

Dr. Silver Strange Surfer⁵ᵗʰ hits ☠ CrossBones ☠ with Alpha Shout T2 Resist 52% (X 2) for >> 64 << +18 Tec damage, bringing them down to 1878 (☠ CrossBones ☠ defense is lowered by 15%) but they take 19 Aura Damage and they Regen 12 HP ( 10 life stolen from ☠ CrossBones ☠)

The cumulative attacks have slowly been diminishing CrossBones resilience, having lowered his defense score by 15% on three different strikes. Two other attacks have directly stolen CrossBones DEF. Doctor Silver Strange avoids CrossBones’s Extra Arms attack while connecting with his own.

Dr. Silver Strange Surfer⁵ᵗʰ hits ☠ CrossBones ☠ with Livermorium Blast Resist 52% (X 2) for >> 68 << +18 Tec damage, bringing them down to 1800 (☠ CrossBones ☠ defense is lowered by 15%) (☠ CrossBones ☠ agility is lowered by 57.6%) ☠ CrossBones ☠ is STUNNED!, stealing their DEF but they take 19 Aura Damage and they Regen 12 HP ( 12 life stolen from ☠ CrossBones ☠)

CrossBones is stunned, has lost more of his defense, and suffers a huge drop to his agility. Dr. Silver Strange Surfer takes full advantage of the opportunity presented.

Dr. Silver Strange Surfer⁵ᵗʰ hits ☠ CrossBones ☠ with Thunder Strike Resist 52% (X 2) for >> 72 << +18 Tec damage, bringing them down to 1710 (☠ CrossBones ☠ attack is lowered by 13%), stealing their DEF but they take 19 Aura Damage and they Regen 14 HP ( 10 life stolen from ☠ CrossBones ☠)

Another miss by CrossBones as he wildly swings at his opponent. Dr Silver Strange Surfer does a one-two combination, taking advantage of another stunning blow.

Dr. Silver Strange Surfer⁵ᵗʰ hits ☠ CrossBones ☠ with The Floor Is Lava Resist 52% (X 1.8) for >> 47 << +18 Tec damage, bringing them down to 1655 ☠ CrossBones ☠ is STUNNED! but they take 19 Aura Damage and they Regen 13 HP

Dr. Silver Strange Surfer⁵ᵗʰ hits ☠ CrossBones ☠ with Shrink Ray Resist 52% (X 3) for >> 108 << +18 Tec [[[[Stun resisted]]]] damage, bringing them down to 1529, stealing their DEF but they take 19 Aura Damage and they Regen 13 HP ( 12 life stolen from ☠ CrossBones ☠)

Tired of taking a beating, CrossBones ducks out of the way of the next attack aimed at him yet fails to deal any damage with his next blow. Dr. Silver Strange Surfer drives another attack home.

Dr. Silver Strange Surfer⁵ᵗʰ hits ☠ CrossBones ☠ with Shrink Ray Resist 52% (X 3) for >> 108 << +18 Tec [[[[Stun resisted]]]] damage, bringing them down to 1529, stealing their DEF but they take 19 Aura Damage and they Regen 13 HP ( 12 life stolen from ☠ CrossBones ☠)

Worn down, they both swing several times more at one another, failing to connect until Dr. Silver Strange Surfer pummels CrossBones yet again with a Shadow Clone.

Dr. Silver Strange Surfer⁵ᵗʰ hits ☠ CrossBones ☠ with Shadow Clone Resist 52% (X 3) for >> 129 << +18 Tec damage, bringing them down to 1347 (☠ CrossBones ☠ agility is lowered by 57.6%) ☠ CrossBones ☠ is STUNNED!, stealing their DEF but they take 19 Aura Damage and they Regen 10 HP

Dr. Silver Strange Surfer⁵ᵗʰ hits ☠ CrossBones ☠ with Thunder Strike Resist 52% (X 3) for >> 126 << +18 Tec [[[[Stun resisted]]]] damage, bringing them down to 1203 (☠ CrossBones ☠ attack is lowered by 13%) (☠ CrossBones ☠ defense is lowered by 15%) but they take 19 Aura Damage and they Regen 14 HP

CrossBones is still above half his original health, but the weaker yet consistent attacks by Dr. Silver Strange Surfer are proving effective. He attacks his opponent again, missing once more.

Dr. Silver Strange Surfer⁵ᵗʰ hits ☠ CrossBones ☠ with Shrink Ray Resist 52% (X 2) for >> 84 << +18 Tec [[[[Stun resisted]]]] damage, bringing them down to 1111 (☠ CrossBones ☠ agility is lowered by 57.6%) but they take 19 Aura Damage and they Regen 12 HP ( 10 life stolen from ☠ CrossBones ☠)

This is the true turning point of the match. CrossBones has been disabled enough that he doesn’t strike Dr. Silver Strange Surfer with another blow while the Dr. hits with each of his own attacks.

Dr. Silver Strange Surfer⁵ᵗʰ hits ☠ CrossBones ☠ with Shrink Ray Resist 52% (X 1.5) for >> 77 << +18 Tec damage, bringing them down to 1025 (☠ CrossBones ☠ attack is lowered by 13%) but they take 19 Aura Damage and they Regen 13 HP

Dr. Silver Strange Surfer⁵ᵗʰ hits ☠ CrossBones ☠ with Summon Ape Resist 52% (X 3) for >> 138 << +18 Tec [[[[Stun resisted]]]] damage, bringing them down to 878 (☠ CrossBones ☠ defense is lowered by 15%) but they take 19 Aura Damage and they Regen 14 HP

Dr. Silver Strange Surfer⁵ᵗʰ hits ☠ CrossBones ☠ with Alpha Shout T2 Resist 52% for >> 40 << +18 Tec [[[[Stun resisted]]]] damage, bringing them down to 829, stealing their DEF but they take 19 Aura Damage and they Regen 13 HP

Dr. Silver Strange Surfer⁵ᵗʰ hits ☠ CrossBones ☠ with Power Overwhelming! Resist 52% (X 3) for >> 135 << +18 Tec damage, bringing them down to 686 (☠ CrossBones ☠ agility is lowered by 57.6%) ☠ CrossBones ☠ is STUNNED! but they take 19 Aura Damage and they Regen 12 HP ( 12 life stolen from ☠ CrossBones ☠)

CrossBones has been accumulating a small bit of health, regenerating a dozen or more hit points as he presses his attacks against Dr. Silver Strange Surfer, but it isn’t enough to withstand the damage curve the Dr. applies to his opponent.

Dr. Silver Strange Surfer⁵ᵗʰ hits ☠ CrossBones ☠ with Endzone Frenzy Resist 52% (X 3) for >> 152 << +18 Tec [[[[Stun resisted]]]] damage, bringing them down to 516 (☠ CrossBones ☠ defense is lowered by 15%), stealing their DEF but they take 19 Aura Damage and they Regen 14 HP

Dr. Silver Strange Surfer⁵ᵗʰ hits ☠ CrossBones ☠ with Thunder Strike Resist 52% for >> 54 << +18 Tec damage, bringing them down to 453 (☠ CrossBones ☠ attack is lowered by 13%) (☠ CrossBones ☠ defense is lowered by 15%) but they take 19 Aura Damage and they Regen 11 HP

Dr. Silver Strange Surfer⁵ᵗʰ hits ☠ CrossBones ☠ with Shrink Ray Resist 52% (X 1.8) for >> 110 << +18 Tec damage, bringing them down to 335 (☠ CrossBones ☠ attack is lowered by 13%) (☠ CrossBones ☠ defense is lowered by 15%), stealing their DEF but they take 19 Aura Damage and they Regen 12 HP

Dr. Silver Strange Surfer⁵ᵗʰ hits ☠ CrossBones ☠ with Shrink Ray Resist 52% (X 3) for >> 195 << +18 Tec damage, bringing them down to 130 (☠ CrossBones ☠ defense is lowered by 15%), stealing their DEF but they take 19 Aura Damage and they Regen 12 HP ( 14 life stolen from ☠ CrossBones ☠)

The final blow Dr Silver Strange Surfer throws is met my jubilant cheers in the crowd. Be a fan or not of the 5th Precinct, this match will earn Dr. Silver Strange Surfer some well-deserved respect.

Dr. Silver Strange Surfer⁵ᵗʰ hits ☠ CrossBones ☠ with Shrink Ray Resist 52% (X 3) for >> 234 << +18 Tec damage

☠ CrossBones ☠ DEFEATED!

Let’s hope to see many more good-ole’ drag-down, faces in the mud, drawn-out matches during the next few hours of League War Egg-celsior. They may not change the outcome of the overall battle rounds, but darn it, they are super fun to watch.

My hat is off to both opponents. Well done.

If you would like, you can watch the action for yourself.
CrossBones vs Dr. Silver Strange Surfer

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Post Round 1 Interlude - After the Pain....Fan Fiction

By Crossroads, ID 11004

The sounds of medical equipment beeping, sighing, whirring, and chattering was a noisy backdrop to the scene of scores of heroes bruised, bloodied, burned, broken, blasted, bedraggled, and all around beaten down filling this medical ward of the orbiting League Wars Arena. League Wars Egg-Celsior had just finished its first round and all the combatants came out swinging. Unfortunately for many, some of them swung a lot harder than others.

Allyson (Crossroads) suddenly sat up in her hospital bed and looked around herself, confused at where she was and what she was seeing and why she was hurting. She hurt from the tips of her hair to the soles of her feet. Hell! Her boots hurt and she wasn’t even wearing them!. What was she doing in a room full of wounded heroes? Was there another attack by an Avatar? The last thing she remembered was taking the field against the heroes of ][][ WMD - Black Order. She saw Hot Wings doing loops in the air and Falconetti walking towards her with a friendly smile on his handsome face. Then everything went black.

Allyson looked at the time display on the wall of the ward. “That can’t be right...” she wondered aloud.

“What can’t be right, Ally?” asked A voice nearby.

Allyson looked to her left and saw her friend Agent Leslie in a lab coat taking care of a hero in the next bed. She couldn’t tell who it was; the hero was covered from head to toe in an opaque layer of ice. Leslie was attaching heating units along the length of the bed, in hopes of thawing out the victim quickly. Luckily, heroes are tough little buggers and the hero should recover with little more than the sniffles and a lesson learned.

“It can’t be after midnight! That means Round 1 is over! I just stepped in to the arena against ][][ WMD - Black Order! I think I remember attacking someone, I was portaling like crazy...and then....and then....I don’t know....”
“Its okay, Ally. Just be calm,” Leslie said soothing ly. “That’s a common after affect of the spell that Wizard hit you with...or a side effect of the head trauma you suffered when Hot Wings threw you into the arena wall...or when Damon accidentally kicked you in the back of the head. He said he was aiming for your back, but you ducked right before he hit you...or it could have been when Midgardsomr trampled you on his way to get Tri-Blade, or when....

“Alright! Enough! I was way out of my league out there! I know!” Allyson said mournfully. How am I going to live this down? I thought I was so strong! I was getting better and stronger and was definitely doing better in the KOTM events, even against those in ][][ WMD - Black Order...but, really, it’s in the League Wars and world-ending conflicts that they really take the lid off and go all out. And that level of violence is frightening...

Allyson laid back down and tried to control her breathing and emotions. A loss is just a loss, it’s not the end of the world, it’s a learning moment. Learn from this. Learn your own weaknesses and work to overcome them. Learn their weaknesses and learn to overcome them! Get better, get stronger, and get back out there and fight!

Leslie looked at her friend and felt for her. She always thought that Ally was amazing one of the strongest heroes she knew personally. But seeing her come into the hospital ward looking like some little girl’s broken toy shocked her. Luckily Allyson had incredible healing abilities of her own and the BADGE medical equipment was a miracle in itself. Allyson will be back to 100% efficiency by the start of the next round. Physically, at least.

However, seeing the look of confusion and shame in her eyes when she woke up made her realize how young Ally actually was. She was only a year or two younger than Leslie herself, and she was still so unsure of herself sometimes. This would be a devastating loss, emotionally and a massive blow to her morale. Leslie wondered how she could help her dear friend out and cheer her up.

Allyson’s voice interrupted Leslie’s thoughts. “Les, how much longer do you have to go on your shift? Can I do anything to help?”

Just like a hero, Leslie thought, always wanting to help! “I’m almost done here, Ally. You should rest and recover some more.”

“I’m okay, Les,” Allyson reassured her. “I’m just sore and that’s fading pretty quickly. I was wondering if you wanted to go and hit some of the bars on the station, or anywhere else in the world, for that matter. I need several strong drink to wash the taste of defeat out of my mouth, and a friendly ear to listen to my complaints. And I need to flirt and dance with some big strong men who aren’t trying to throw me through walls or fry me with a death beam set on low.”

Leslie smiled and knew her friend would be all right. “Sure, Ally! Let me get my coat and I’ll tell Dr. Anderson that I’m leaving. The fights are over and everyone is just resting anyway. I heard about this bar called The Bronze from Slayer BAS in Avengers 5¹ . It’s in Sunnyvale, California. She says it’s a quiet little town in the daytime, but it has a night life to die for!”

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SuperActionSports League War Egg-Celsior Round One

 By Phantom 10823 Island  11504

“... one lucky bidder took home Sir Isaac Newton’s meditations on causes and cures for the common plague. The manuscript, which sold for $108,083, is believed to have been written shortly after Newton returned to Cambridge after nearly two years in self-quarantine to avoid the plague. The document is unlikely to be of much use during the current pandemic, however: it includes, among other things, a prescription for driving away disease with lozenges made from a mixture of toad vomit and powdered toad, 

And now from one bunch of useless drivel to another … we’re going live to the SuperActionSports Team reporting live from the Egg-Celsior League Wars …”

“Thanks, I think, Kennie.”

“How’s round one gone guys?”

“Well nobody ruptured the hull, so it could have been worse.”

“And we’ve seen some great action in the nine divisions battling it out for temporary glory.”

“We’ll start off with D1. WMD cruised past 5th Omniversal and Avengers 51 gained a 119-0 win over 5th Galactic. No real surprises in either match, although we have to mention some impressive work by the 5ths GhostfaceKilla who against all predictions actually managed to pick up some wins.”

“And in D2 Avengers 51 took down 5th Kung Fu Hustle while NMDS were no match for Angels of Sorcery.”

“D3 saw a spirited Legacy of Spawn make a great start against Seraphim Angels, a fairly close match there, but Spawn were determined to match, or better, the last league war performance, but they will be keeping a close eye on the Avengers 51 team that dominated their match against SOB Hunter/Killer.”

“D4 saw Avengers 51 come close to the first 200 point match as they brushed aside Creatures of the Night and equally one sided was the win for 5th Section 8.”

“D5 Suicide Squad with the shut out win versus Galaxy Rangers and 5th Space Force looked comfortable in the familiar terrifying surroundings of eternal darkness that surround this orbital death trap.

“D6 saw StarForce and Times Arrow pick up first round w’s, 5th Wise Guys couldn’t handle the assault from Illiterate Cowboys and the bookies favourites for the division Pain brought a 70-0 display of dominance to the Justice League.”

“D7 Avengers 51 made the seven look less than magnificent, B team got an A star for their performance against Freaks of Nature, Suicide Squad 2 took out C+ and in a tense low scoring affair NobleGates beat the 5th Night Shift.”

“D8 saw Mojos Dojo suffer a first round loss, there have been some significant line up changes to the team that previously surprised us all, and they were no match for the Avengers 51 team, Suffering proved too much for 5th Buddy Cops. Raider Nation came from behind to take down Firefly fun Haus and the Purple Onion lost to WTF’ers after a dominant start they found themselves getting ground down by repeated attack runs they couldn’t respond to.”

“Finally in D9 Sensational Seven put 77 on the board and that was enough to see off Star Force Jnrs. Lush realised that Avengers 51’s pink bunnies aren't cute and cuddly, loon Platoon and Rock’n’Wrestling Connection put on a high scoring affair for the lowest level, with the loons getting the victory. And we had conclusive proof that Avengers 21 mini have little, or nothing, to do with the 51 teams as they were swatted aside by the A Team.”

“And now we can finally go to d’Anthony in the Pits, turns out that crushed vitamin B mixed with powdered sugar is not illegal … “

“Jay my main C, Rob JuJu Junior, the d’Anthony is loud and proud in the pits. He’s been doing what he do best. I got to see the teams that I spoke to before showing they have been building to win, all gold, all day baby! 

The d’Anthony was with painfully inked Sadist after the Pain Inc show ended. He didn’t say much cos the ballgag and stuff. But Dr Hyde was available to take some hard hitting q’s!”

“Dr Hyde, how did that round go?”
“Who are you?”
“d’Anthony is the SAS man on the ground.”
“Oh SAS Team, guess thats ok then … “
“Are you an actual real doctor, cos the d’Anthony’s got this rash …”
“Pull them back up!”

“Then you know how I do, got the guys from 5th Omniversal to sit down with us…”

“Solomon how’d that go for you?”
“Who are you?”
“d’Anthony is the SAS man on the ground.”
“Oh SAS Team, guess thats ok then … “
“Is that Silver Surfer Strange guy actually a real doctor?”
“Ermmmm ….”
“You see the d’Anthony’s got this rash …”
“Pull them back up!”

“Finally I spoke to the D1 team Angels Of Sorcery …”

“Who are you?”
“d’Anthony is the SAS man on the ground.”
“Oh SAS Team, guess thats ok then … “
“Who are you?”
“Neach-dion na h-alba”
“You related to Jessica, she did karaoke with the d’Anthony!”
“Ermmm …”
“Does your team have a doctor?”
“Ermmm …” 
“You see the d’Anthony’s got this rash …”
“Pull them back up!”

“As always d’Anthony you’ve really done something down there in the Pits”

“Thanks Jay, you know how I do what I do when I do what I do doo be doo doo wop doo”

“I think we all have a fair idea … what you up to next d’Anthony?”

“I'm headed to the medical bay Rob, you see I got this rash …”

“Pull them up!”

“Anyway that’s round one completed, round two is less than 24 hours away, and we’ll be back bringing you all the action and Dom will be analysing everything before the finals,”

“All sports, all super, all the time!”

“Back to you Kennie.”

“Thanks guys, coming up we have news on the Australian mouse plague, scientists believe they may be the first creatures in Australian history that don’t really want to kill the countries inhabitants,  an endangered songbird that has forgotten its love songsnand the females aren’t impressed, and an overgrown sheep that needed over 75lbs of fleece removing by the baabaa’s … all that and more after this word from our sponsors …”

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Round One Update with Egghead: League Wars Egg-celsior!!!

 I, for one, am eggs-hausted after today’s first round of battles.

Nothing pleases me more than seeing brave heroes fighting one another instead of going out of their way to crack open one of my schemes. Let’s see what we can make from today’s scramble, OK?

In Division Nine… what, you wanted me to start with Division One! Well, get over it, I’m feeling a bit deviled right now, so you’re just going to have to wait.

As I was saying, in Division Nine, the loon platoon took the Rock n Wrestling Connection to the mats with a decisive 147- 70 win. There’s no putting that Humpty Dumpty gold dream back together for RnWC this league war. The A Team diffused the Avengers 2¹ Mini, 71-12. I can’t help but pity those fools. Avengers 5¹ Rabbid Pink Bunnies humped the Legion of Super Heroes, or L.U.S.H., into submission 32-1. LOSER PARTY at Denny’s, boys and girls. Have a grand slam platter on Mayor CJ. He has coupons at the gym. Lastly, The Sensational Seven schooled the Star Force: Junior League in their match, eeking out a 77-61 win. I do have say, when I see the Sensational Seven’s logo, I am reminded of my good friend Julie Newmar. Or is it Eartha Kitt? Eh, who cares really. They were both purr-fect, weren’t they?

In Division Eight… I have eight more divisions to recap!? Nobody told me that by opting for community service in exchange for years off my sentence would be this… rotten.

Avengers 5¹ flipped Mojo’s Dojo, 29-0. I hear they found crates of smuggled bananas hidden in the basement. 5^th Precinct Buddy Cops learned a new word in their match-up today, losing 22-0. That word would be, spell it out with me children, SUFFERING. I mean, did those cops even try?? I don’t think so. After that snooze-fest, you could get some excitement watching The Purple Onion getting peeled by The WTF’ers, 98-43. There was enough crying going on in that battle round Niagra Falls would be jealous. Finally, Raider Nation took the thrill out of the Firefly Fun Haus, 46-27. It’s all fun and games until somebody pounds your bottom like Bane on Batman’s spine.

Division Seven had the 5^th Precinct Night Shift hitting snooze for 24 hours straight as they fought NobleGates, losing 18-0. I will be honest, I’m a big ole’ fan of goose-eggs, but if the 5^th doesn’t wake up and get in the game soon, they should be sent directly to the retirement center. YAWN!!! The Suicide Squad #2 graded Team C+ and, well, they didn’t pass. 64-2. Yeouch!!! Maybe there needs to be a short bus for next league war? Viewers did get to see some action as The B Team and the Freaks of Nature tore into one another. In the end, the Freaks came out more like Awkwards as they lost 42-87. They sounded so terrifying at first, but they ended up just little puppies who peed on the furniture. Concluding this division, the Avengers 5¹ had nothing but a good time as they rode the Magnificent Seven to the ground, 127-21. Just like the Lone Ranger, the losing team from that match up can only hope for silver. <ba-dump, boom>

What? No applause. Geez tough room.

Division Six… OMG… when do we get to the divisions with only four leagues already… we have The Justice League relying on Zan, Jayna, and the monkey for a win against PAIN. What?? The Wonder Twins aren’t members? That explains the 70-0 loss then. Moving on, we had cowboys vs cops, or I should say, Illiterate Cowboys Est. showing the 5^th Precinct Wise Guys the ropes. This match went 102-71 in favor of the Illiterate Cowboys Est., but at least the 5^th Precinct showed up to the table this time. yippie! (Is there a lower case I could use to show my lack of enthusiasm?) Oh, here is another 5^th Precinct team in this division. 5^th Precinct: Code Blue fought Time’s Arrow, losing yet again 26-72. I myself find myself exhilarated by this outcome. If the cops around here are always this stellar, maybe I need to move my operations here from Gotham? The last match-up from this division was between The Star Force and Aussie Freaks. 117-62, the Star Force shone as those from down under put up a great fight, but unfortunately forgot to bring their top kangaroos.

Oh, yea, only four teams in Division Five. Where do I start? With the really good match or the really, really good match. Both of the winning teams came out on top with resounding victories. I mean, they trounced their opponents. The losers got hit hard enough their children’s children felt it. The Suicide Squad made the Galaxy Rangers into their personal tour guides as they came out on top, 127-0. And hold on to your hats, people. The 5^th Precinct: Space Force WON against the Psycho Squad: Injustice League, 119-25. Congratulations.

Division Four had more ass-whoopery as the Avengers 5¹ caught RG Creatures of the Night square in the headlights and defeated them 196-19. That’s some roadkill nobody will want to clean up. And for the second time of the evening, the 5^th Precinct has shown that they have more than their bellies resting in their holsters. The 5^th Precinct: Section 8 Pool Hall and Bar went TTFN (ta-ta for now) to Tygger’s Freak Show with a 19-3 win. Bravo! Maybe I will be able to congratulate them again in later divisions. <the sound of flipping papers> Oops. Upon reviewing my notes, I guess not. Sorry if I got you eggs-cited there for a minute.

Division Three winners included Avengers 5¹ defeating SOB Hunter/Killer 157-38. Do the Avengers 5¹ ever get tired of winning? Do they have Charlie Sheen on speed dial as a motivational speaker? I don’t know, but whatever it is, it is working. In a far closer match, the Legacy of Spawn managed to squeeze out a victory over the Seraphim Angels, 71-54. It could have been a wider gap, but some of the Legacy of Spawn combatants couldn’t help but keep swinging on Captain Bob and giving his league some free wins. “But I like the high ones!!!” Krystal Fae was heard exclaiming when confronted.

(For those who don’t get the reference, watch A League of Their Own with Tom Hanks and Geena Davis, also staring Rosie O’Donnell and Madonna. Ok, sorry. I didn't mean to give you reasons not to watch it.)

Nearing the top, Division Two has the Avengers 5¹ and 5^th Precinct: Kung Fu Hustle—ok, I’m just going to say it here and now. STOP. There are too many of you and I am sick of having to use superscript for both your damn league names. Geez. Get a life, already— fought, giving the Avengers 5¹ another notch on the gold bedpost, 185-6. Angels of Sorcery rejoiced as the triumphed over the NMDS 129-32. Even Hollywood wouldn’t touch that mash up. Angels vs Clowns. Sounds like something I saw on an acid trip back in the 60’s.

Just in time before the security staff takes me back to the asylum, we have reached Division One. WMD-Black Order and the Avengers 5¹ have proven what we all expected. We have our Godzilla and we have our King Kong, and the two giants both won their respective challenges this round and are one step closer to that final big battle deciding who will earn the gold. Walking away with egg on their faces, two 5^th Precinct teams must be wondering why on earth they are even there. Fighting for bronze, that’s why. Division One bronze is the best bronze to have, right?

Nah, but it is better than a participation badge.

That’s all the time I have for you tonight. Rest up and have a tall glass raw eggs for breakfast. That is the breakfast of champions. Those yolks are like liquid sunshine as they slide down your throat. Ahh, yum! I’ll see you again after round two. It’s been eggs-crutiating.

OOOO’s (I don’t do xs unless my lawyer is present)

Egghead

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League War 7 Update: Day One - Halftime

While I can't speak for anyone else, I can assure you that I feel like a chew toy dropped in a box of puppies!  With 13.5 hours to go, the 5th Precinct: Space Force has given the ᎮᏕყƇɧƠ ᏕϘŲĄƉ: ÌՌנƱՖȶƗƇƐ ㄥΈคƓยΈ a solid thrashing in Division 5.

I knew many of these opponents from various KOTM's and Fight Clubs, so I was aware of my own inabilities to counter the crushing force of these particular 5th. The one that I knew for a fact I could beat went as expected, but the 2 I was questionable on? Well, they left no doubt on my mind as to where I stood - Clearly at the bottom.

Despite this, we had some good showings from several in our league.  ᗩᘔᖇᗩEᒪ☠▬ι═══ﺤ gets a round of applause for strong effort. Our leader Rapscallion did probably the most damage and made our numbers as high as they are.

On the 5th side, it is hard to pinpoint who gets the VIP, but I am going to give it to Ice: Canadian Damages, I believe.  They are consistent, and hit hard, and hit EVERYTHING possible.  Certainly Captain Picard, Stone Fist, jh5th, and Rysh deserve massive credit as well.  Astra deserves props for their efforts.

The fight isn't over completely, of course.  We have several who in Psycho Squad that have not yet made their appearance.  Let's hope for a dramatic and television worthy final scene.

From the bottom of the pile, this is Lykos MacGregor - Please send aspirin.

ID: 18321

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11th Hour Tally And Projections

By Legionnaire Solomon Of The 5th Precinct 
ID: 10910

Disclaimer: Leads don't mean victories, and upsets are exciting! I hope some teams prove me wrong! It's a bit easier to make a guess in the 4 team divisions though, so lets have a look at those first!

In Division 1:
The Avengers and WMD both have commanding leads against their 5th Precinct opponents, and would seem to be on track for that final round faceoff we're all waiting for!

Division 2:
Similar point leads for another Avenger team here, and with a very strong showing, Angels of Sorcery! The 5th Precinct has a team that will likely face-off against NMDS for the Bronze.

Division 3:
We don't see as wide of a margin in this division, at least not yet. The first Division with no 5th Precinct league competing, sees another Avenger team sharing a lead with Legacy Of Spawn! SOB, and Seraphim Angels, are on the lower ends of their matchups, but should have a more exciting 3rd round to look forward to!

Division 4:
Sees big leads again for The 5th Precinct Section 8 Pool Hall and Bar, and another Avenger team! These teams are everywhere! RG is doing better for point count than Tygger's Freak Show, but it's still early, those team will get their chance to shine later.

Division 5:
Sees Solid Point leads for Suicide Squad and 5th Precinct: Space Force these teams are our likely finalists at this time. Psycho Squad is showing up, with 14 wins to Galaxy Rangers 0, but there is still time to turn things around. The matchup results between these two can't really be guessed at yet, but we'll be watching! Worth noting, this is our first Division with no Avenger team.

Division 6:
Is the second Division missed by the Avengers. Well, it isn't branded but we see a solid line-up with some familiar faces occupying the times arrow league. Star Force has doubled the score of Aussie Freaks, Times Arrow at 3/1 Over 5th Precinct Code Blue, Illiterate Cowboys Est. at 3/1 over the 5th's Wise Guys, and apparently the team to beat, 51-0 for Pain vrs Justice League! Which of these strong competitors do you think will make it to the finals?

Division 7:
Sees a lower point count but current leads for an Avenger team, Freaks of nature, Suicide Squad, and Noblegates. I'm not comfortable guessing who takes this one but I'll be watching it unfold with great interest! Also worth mentioning, there are some solid toons on the losing side of things here in round 1. We have a 5th League, The Magnificent Seven, with both B and C teams. There will be some exciting stuff happening here mid-round.

Division 8:
Has some very familiar leagues in low scoring matches, 5th Precinct, Avengers, Mojo Dojo, Suffering, The Orple Punion, and some entries using toons we are familiar with, in leagues like the WTF'ers, Firefly Fun Haus, and the newer Raider Nation! No predictions yet for this nail biter!

Division 9:
Is also a confusing one to predict! You can't ignore the points put up by Loon Platoon, but Rock n Wrestling got some licks in too. The Avenger Spoof team has a slight leader of A Team, but I pity the fool that calls this one early. The Avengers enter with a Rabid Pink Bunnies league at 18-0 over L.U.S.H. And Star Force Junior has a 10 point lead over Sensational Seven, can they hold onto that lead?

Thanks for reading, we'll check in later in the round!

Solomon Signing off!

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League Wars 7 Divisions Announced!

This is Legionnaire Solomon⁵ᵗʰ 
ID: 10910 

With your leagues wars update straight from the resistance!

After the quickest roster lockdown and division release, in Heroes Rising history! We have begun scouting our competition, and planning our league wars strategies.

Some players were pleasantly surprised to find extra divisions to play in! More divisions mean more opportunities for sweet victory, but who will take advantage? 

We see new names, old names, Butchers, Bunnies and B Teams, but no matter your league affiliation, there are only 3 battles between you and eternal glory! 

Go get those medals!

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SuperActionSports Team Live from League Wars Egg-Celsior

“.…. political advisers are saying that covid travel restrictions may prevent US nationals from visits to other nations, other nations are said to be relieved. 

And now we’re going over to the SuperActionSports team already in place at the orbital arena … JayC, Rob Jnr, how are you guys?”

“Kenny I’d say something about a tin can in a vacuum, imminent fiery death, cold and suffocating emptiness, claustrophobia, and the definite sulfurous hint that the air filtration system is not 100% But I think we've mentioned it before ... ”

“I'm sorry Rob I can hear you, but I can’t see you.”

“Technical difficulties I'm afraid Kenny, we’re working on it.”

“Never mind, at least you can tell us about what the seventh league wars event has in store for us.”

“Bad puns Kenny, many bad puns.”

“And the largest competitive field so far Rob.”

“Great turn out Jay, nine divisions, top five four teams bottom four-eight teams, 52 leagues and a minimum of 364 entrants.”

“Seven fifths, six fifty ones, and a magnificent seven!”

“The stats for Dom are looking fantastic.”

“Egg-sactly what I thought Rob, let's have a more detailed look at what we have to look forward to …”

“D1, let's start at the top … Avengers 51 have assembled a seven to challenge WMD for the true heavyweight title, it's a fight that many have been anticipating, and we will have unprecedented access to that one. I almost feel sorry for the two 5th Precinct teams up there with them, almost.”

“D2 sees NMDS, Angels Of Sorcery and 5th Kung Fu Hustle looking to take down Avengers 51 who have had a stranglehold on the title.”

“D3 Legacy of Spawn in probably their lowest showing so far, Seraphim Angels, SOB Hunter Killer, and Avengers 51. Should be a good few fights in there!”

“D4 Tyggers Freak Show and Creatures of the Night have drawn the 5th Pool Hall and Avengers 51, this one could be decided round 1.”

“D5 Psycho Squad Injustice League, 5th Space Force, Galaxy Rangers, and Suicide Squad have all avoided Avengers 51 in this division. Could we actually be looking at the 5th winning gold?”

“D6 and we move up to the more unpredictable 8 team format. Aussie Freaks, Justice League and Illiterate Cowboys the quiet stalwarts of the mid-table mixing it up with Times Arrow, Star Force, 5th’s Code Blue, and WiseGuys, and the formidable Pain Inc who are looking to end their run of three consecutive silvers. To be fair they look to have recruited some new blood and that lineup looks almost impr-egg-nable.”

“D7 Avengers 51, Suicide Squad, NobleGates, Magnificent 7, Freaks of Nature, Team C+, 5th Night Shift, and the B Team. The bookies have Avengers 51 as favorites, but there are some signif-egg-cant chances for an upset.”

“I wouldn't put an egg-stremely large amount of money on that … mine’s on A51” 

“D8 We have 5th Buddy Cops, WTF’ers, Firefly Funhaus and Raider Nation facing Avengers 51, Mojo’s Dojo and Suffering there seems to be a distinct line drawn down that division, and then we have the Purple Onion who as always are eggs-empt from judgment.”

“Unpredictable is one word for the Onion.”

“Fluke is another.”

“Finally D9 StarForce Jnrs, A Team, loon Platoon, LUSH, Sensational Seven, Rock n Wrestling Connection, Rabid Pink Bunnies, and Avengers 21 Mini.”

“RPB... that name’s a real blast from the past.”

“Certainly brings back some memories.”

“And is that an official Avengers 51 team in D9?”

“Well we have egg-samined the team roster, there are some strangely familiar names in there, the Jury is out, but I’m fairly sure that the results will be revealing.”

“We will be back with Dom Ralyk and if he’s been allowed through security d’Anthony Kay and all the action …”

“All sports, all super, all the time …”

“Back to you Kenny …”

“Thank you... Rob, Jay, we will be back with you guys for the first round roundup, hopefully with technical issues resolved.

*****

Coming up we have some stories about covid, another look at THAT Oprah interview most of you didn't want to watch the first time, some Canadians on ice and the weather …. you could always tune back in an hour … all that and more after these words from our sponsors….”

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Two Days left to register for League Wars Eggs-celsior

 

League Wars Egg-celsior is about to begin. Let’s take a few minutes to look as some of the top yolks out there who will make this tournament hard-boiled.

Last league war, in Division One, it was dominated by the WMD as they faced down the Angels of Sorcery and two 5th Precinct leagues. There has been a slight shift in the composition of these leagues since then as Midgardsormr has left the WMD and is now with the Angels of Sorcery. Will this have an impact on Division One’s gold positioning. Only time will tell.

Based on activity in the Events competitions, WMD holds most top positions in the roost. In the current Ultimatum Duel, their members hold seven of the top fifteen ranks. Two members of the Avengers 51 groups are in the top fifteen, and only Midgardsormr represents the Angels of Sorcery in that cage-match.

Division Two thru Seven all saw domination by the new Avengers 51 family of teams. Will the scrambling of these two organizations continue, or will they return to their previous cartons? Pain-Guin and ChaChing are both active in ongoing Events challenges and often take top ranks in Division 2. Blue Dragon currently rules the roost in the Ultimatum Duel, and a few other leagues being represented, such as Chainz and Nevets of the Angels of Sorcery, Uptown Knight of the NMDS, Captain Bob of the Seraphim Angels, and Alferia of SOB Hunter/Killers.

Fleagle of RG’s Creatures of the Night is the sitting top dog in the henhouse of Division 3. The Suicide Squad makes an appearance here as well with Diamond Ace. There have been whispers in the fight club locker rooms that the Suicide Squad is looking to make its presence felt this league war.

Division Four has Bloody Mary of PAIN Inc. sitting on the golden egg. Every league war, the PAIN and SUFFERING teams have been strong competitors, but other leagues such as NobleGates and Illiterate Cowboy Est. are showing some strong efforts as well. Where these combatants will end up exactly during league wars is still unclear, but I think it is fair to assume they will make their presence felt.

In the last two divisions of the events, there are simply too many leagues being represented to call any favorites yet. The Mutant League, MacGregors, LUSH, WTF’ers, Ro¢k 'ñ' Wrê§Ƭlïñg Ç0ññê¢Ƭïoñ, ♣ Harsh Handy's Gentleman's Club and Bar & Grill ♣, and many non-aligned competitors hold positions. Where they will finally end up, or if they participate, has yet to be seen.

Either way, it seems that there will be plenty of competition this league war.

Don’t forget, if you want to participate, there are only two days left to register. Get your leagues together and toss your best layers in, because when this omelet finally gets made, lots of eggs are going to get cracked.

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LW7 EGG-CELSIOR: Call for live updates, interviews, and RP fiction!

League War 7 is almost upon us! As this grand event unfolds, we invite all participants to share their views with live updates and interviews.

As always, all editorials published will be rewarded according to merit. Let's hear your views on the battles, interviews with participants, and reviews of each round. (We only ask that you avoid merely copying battle results/summaries; we want to hear your opinion!)

Submit your articles as posts to the Sentinel group page (request to join if you aren't a member).

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St. Patrick's Day Consumables

By Lykos (ID: 18321)

Someone had asked for an explanation of the St. Patrick's Day consumables, so I did a quick write-up on one of them. I decided to go ahead and write up a full description of both in case others were confused as well.

So let's take a look at those two magical Items we bought with our Gold Coins. I am sure you bought some with leftovers.

"Lucky Clover"

The clover, when activated, will help you while running missions. As you go through missions it will occasionally, very rarely, drop a "Key" for that mission you are doing.

For example: If you are doing the New Amsterdam missions, it will occasionally drop a B.A.D.G.E. Commendation. That is a Key that will allow you to fight the bosses of that level early. The Clover will give you a 250% better chance of one of those keys dropping - but for only 4 hours.
So use it when you hit a point where it is taking FOREVER to get a boss to pop up.

"Pot of Gold"

The pot will work in a similar fashion but will drop 250% more Bux(!) than it normally would. So if you complete a mission that gives you 4 Bux, you will get an additional 6 Bux for a total of 10!

If you really REALLY need to earn Bux fast, this lil gem will help you get there faster.

Remember, these consumables always have an expiration date, in this case, October 1, 2021. So use them before then. There is also a limit to how many you can consume in one day - which is 1. So if you bought 4, you could only use 1 and then have to use the next on another day. I would recommend you spread these out or hold them until you really need them.

Good Luck!

**********************

Quick Update: It appears that the Halloween candy will be expiring at the end of this month! If you still have some of them laying around your league or still sitting in your candy bucket, get them eaten by April 1, 2021!

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Don't forget about the March HR Fiction Contest: Two weeks left!!!

"It was a ___________ in the month of ________. Director Nova

sent out an alert that there was trouble in ___________ and as a 

member of BADGE, it was my duty as a hero to help fight 

_________..."

Or maybe it wasn't.

Each of the characters played in Heroes Rising has a story of where they were during the fight between Dr. Osteen's Giant Robot Monstrosity in Las Vegas or when they faced the dual threat of Krampus and then Lady Phoenix off the eastern seaboard of Hallow Port. 

It is your choice whether or not to share it.

Dan Peyton is currently having a Contest for stories about these two events. Why not spare a few minutes to tell your tale and earn some rewards? Everyone who enters will earn rewards for their efforts. The goal isn't to be the best writer, he isn't going to grade them. He is going to give additional awards for the top imaginative and creative stories that shed some light of who your character is, what they did during the crises (plural for crisis, I looked it up), and how they managed to fit into it all.

Were they on the front line of the battle hurling lightning bolts or rubber erasers at the villain of the day? Did they overcome a challenge to arrive at the fight, die during the effort to defeat the foe, or protect a stray cat that got caught up in the action? Did they spend their time at a donut shop enjoying a jelly-filled long john and a cup of coffee before heading to work? 

The story is yours to tell. 

Free players, this is an excellent way to earn some Morphons for that piece of gear you have been wanting to buy. Same for you budget players. Instead of grinding the missions to find a boss to fight, tell us the excuse you used on your boss to get out of work while still protecting your secret identity. Did they buy it? 

Bring your characters to life for us as readers. Make us laugh, make us cry. It is all in good fun. 

Here is a link to Dan Peyton's original post with details for the event. What were you doing when...

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League Wars: Egg-Celsior is registering NOW!!!

by Chaz Hamilton

The announcement stunned people around the world. Like the Spanish Inquisition, nobody expected League Wars so soon after the last installment of the ever-popular event.

While Director Nova hasn’t made a formal announcement yet of the games, there are new rules for league formations this time around. To register, all members (minimum of 7, maximum of 12) must be at least 50% the average level of all league members. (If the average of all your members is level 100, then your lowest level member must be at least level 50).

Get out your calculators, because my head is already starting to hurt trying to wrap my mind around the arithmetic. “A level 70, 60, 50, 40, 30, 20, and 10 hero each walk into a bar. Can they form a league? (The answer would be NO).”

Furthermore, divisions are determined by the average of the 6 highest level league members. This could also skew past calculations for estimated placement in certain divisions.

It may not be a whole new ball of wax, but the wax may at least be on fire this go around. I estimate that there will be some alterations needed to many of the leagues who participated in the past.

Will past rivalries continue? Are there new rivalries waiting to show up on the battlefield? What new allegiances will be formed?

There have already been boasts shared, claiming that Division 2 would be captured by one league in particular (I cannot say who at this time as I do not know what name they will register under), but last league war, Division 2 through 7 were all dominated by the Avengers 51 family of teams.

In teams likely to be in Division 1, it has been noted that well-known participant, Midgarsormr, isn’t currently with the WMD!!! The Great Serpent has been seen with the Angels of Sorcery. Will this have an impact on Division 1? We will know in a few weeks.

League Wars: Egg-Celsior is going to provide an excellent challenge for your heroes. There are many new leagues showing up in the lower levels, such as ♦ AVENGERS 2¹ ♦ MINI, RO¢K 'Ñ' WRʧƬLÏÑG Ç0ÑÑÊ¢ƬÏOÑ, and MACGREGORS!! What new leagues will be created as heroes regroup to meet the new regulations? Will some old, inactive leagues return?

Stay tuned. Keep your eyes peeled for the newest SAS Team pre-game show, round by round reports by various reporters, and the action on the battlefields of the BADGE Space Arena.

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