Friday, September 16, 2022

FAN-FICTION CONTEST SEPTEMBER: THE PREQUEL... IN ANOTHER DIMENSION



This is the story of Frozen Flatulence, before she became frozen, and before she was flatulent.

It begins in an alternate dimension in a parallel universe not unlike the one we are familiar with.

There was a planet called Uranus No. 1. It was known as Uranus 1 because it was the first of many gassy giants filled with methane that populated the universe. Uranus 1 was in itself devoid of life but one of its many moons, Titania, supported life due to the heat generated from the gassy giant.


On Titania, all kinds of life flourished, including a humanoid(-ish) carbon-based organism that thrived on methane ejected from Uranus 1.

Over millions of millennia, this organism evolved into a species of benevolent, friendly beings known as the Titanians. These beings could teleport across vast distances in space by taking advantage of quantum uncertainty to cause their subatomic particles to jump over improbable obstacles such as space and time and rematerialise elsewhere.

Mischievous Titanians are known to use this particular ability to play pranks on their elders by making their body parts disappear and reappear on other planets. These pranksters are known as gas-hoppers.

One such gas-hopper, a young girl called Fran not only mastered the art of gas-hopping; she was able to extend her pranks by manipulating space-time to create tiny wormholes between galaxies, thereby enabling her to instantaneously teleport any object simultaneously across the known universe. Her favourite prank was sending her brother to the dark side of Uranus just as he was about to have his dinner, then teleporting his (methane-based) food back and forth until it ignited like some kind of fire fart.

However, unbeknownst to her, this naughty prank attracted the ire of their mother, who decided to punish Fran by sending her to a complete vacuum where there was nothing to teleport, no matter to manipulate, no mass to bend space and time with. Even though the punishment was only for a day, the vacuum of nothingness caused Fran's molecular structure to "freeze", as in lose all kinetic energy. As a result, Fran never ages nor changes. She can still move by gas-hopping herself wherever she wanted to go, but doing so would cause methane to be ejected from her body, hence her flatulence...
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