He is my now my nomination for official BADGE whipping boy. Having an actual angel sharing my body, I have inside information on what Skelanimal was responsible for in his previous life, so don't ever doubt he deserves every bit of the whooping he gets, even if it is currently only in holographic form. Sources say he actually enjoys being ganged up on by multiple heroes, making him feel "warm and tingly all-over".
If you are looking for the perfect combination of social justice and high-fashion, Glamazon, ID 35646, may be the caped contender you are looking for. Heroine by day, drag performer by night, then heroine once again after the bars close, they plan to show the world their charisma, uniqueness, nerve, and talents. They aren't afraid to work it for $20 tips or cleaning up the streets.
Finally, I did receive on letter from an individual currently held in Purgatory Prison. He is lonely and looking for friends for lunch. Yes, we've all locked him up at some point in our careers. It's Bob.
The Yetti has not commented as of yet, but its lawyers are in communications with the ASPCA.
Now to the topic at hand. Not many heroes have requested my services as friend-maker so far. I'm not surprised, to be honest. Heroes are fiercely independent and frequently try to solve every problem themselves. So since the heroes won't come to me, this time, I will go out to them and bolster their efforts.
First off, Ultra Instinct of the Fortress of Solitude, ID#11224, has been requesting connections with others. Based on his BADGE bio, he is an alien who suggests having relations with several other heroes mothers in the past. Being an immortal being now, he has given up on the role of being a righteous hero and now plays by his own rules. He spends most of his days avoiding paternity suits and unlocking new powers. If he is the kind of friend you've always dreamed of having, contact him at your own risk.
Next, Grim Payne of the Aussie Freaks, ID 25875, has indicated a need for more friends. They didn't say much in their request, so all I can say it they may or may not be from the land down under. Photos show slender figure with a mask and robotic arms and legs. Were they horribly mauled in a fight against a rabid koala? Mangled boxing a kangaroo? Upgraded by ACME? If you want to know the answers, you're going to have to contact them for yourself.
Who says you can't superhero while wearing that perfect tiny black dress and looking gorge while doing it.
Another relatively new hero looking for friends is ID 36096, Remedies. A pet lover with a black wolf companion, this hero is another shy one, hiding their face behind a mask. Are you and experienced hero looking for a young hopeful to mentor in the way of the hero? If so, contact Remedies and get the cure for whatever is holding you back from using maximum power (cards).
Thanksgiving is coming up soon, but don't forget to be ready for a big fight during Chaos Wars. Team-ups should be listed this weekend, so get those Turkey Dinners and hit those patrols.
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