A clap of thunder rumbled in the distance. The sky beyond the tops of the downtown skyscrapers of New Amsterdam rolled with dark clouds that threatened heavy rain. Chaz increased his pace on the sidewalk, anxious to reach his parked car before the sky unlocked and drenched him in a downpour.
Few people were out on the streets, likely having already made it home for the evening or finding shelter in a nearby nightspot. A small line of late-night club-goers waited beneath a canopy outside a new nightspot across the street, CuSn.
“Maybe Romana would like to go there this weekend?” Chaz pondered as he crossed before an open alleyway, failing to notice a solitary figure standing in the shadows. With supernatural speed, the figure closed the distance between it and Chaz, grabbing the off-duty reporter savagely on his shoulder.
“Hey, what do you—” Chaz only got a few words before his mouth was covered. The grip quickly shifted from his shoulder to the front of his jacket. Chaz found himself lifted into the air and carried into the depths of the alley.
Chaz couldn’t help but to taste the fresh dirt coating the hand placed over his mouth while feeling the rough grit on even rougher flesh being pressed against his face. He tried to call out for help, but his cries were muffled by his attacker.
“You know, I think its good manners to wash before you handle your food,” A young woman’s voice chided from the darkness above.
Few people were out on the streets, likely having already made it home for the evening or finding shelter in a nearby nightspot. A small line of late-night club-goers waited beneath a canopy outside a new nightspot across the street, CuSn.
“Maybe Romana would like to go there this weekend?” Chaz pondered as he crossed before an open alleyway, failing to notice a solitary figure standing in the shadows. With supernatural speed, the figure closed the distance between it and Chaz, grabbing the off-duty reporter savagely on his shoulder.
“Hey, what do you—” Chaz only got a few words before his mouth was covered. The grip quickly shifted from his shoulder to the front of his jacket. Chaz found himself lifted into the air and carried into the depths of the alley.
Chaz couldn’t help but to taste the fresh dirt coating the hand placed over his mouth while feeling the rough grit on even rougher flesh being pressed against his face. He tried to call out for help, but his cries were muffled by his attacker.
“You know, I think its good manners to wash before you handle your food,” A young woman’s voice chided from the darkness above.
A large thud could be heard as something landed on the ground nearby. In the faint light emanating from a fixture above the back door of some unknown business, a blond bombshell crouched while a crack of thunder filled the air. Rain began to pour down in heavy streams from the sky. “Now put the nice man down and I’ll fill you in on other points of proper dining etiquette you’ve clearly missed out on. ‘Kay?”
In the illumination from a flash of lightning above, Chaz saw his attacker’s face, and more importantly, the long, pointed canine teeth thirsty for blood in its mouth. “You... you...you’re a VAMPIRE?”
The creature of the night hissed as he threw Chaz into a pile of refuse-filled trash bags and charged toward the blond. “I thought you were dead.”
“I was.” She shrugged and then rapidly pulled out a long, pointed shaft of wood from her stylish black jacket. She twirled it in her hand like a beauty queen spinning a baton and caught it in a tight grip, the business end pointing in the vampire’s direction. “Twice. Three times if you count being cancelled."
“It doesn’t matter,” the vampire said. “You won’t stop me all by yourself, little girl.”
“Now, you’re going to hurt Mr. Pointy’s feelings. He goes everywhere with me these days.” She looked at the wooden stake in her hands with momentary sadness, before a playful smile came across her lips. “How about a heart-felt introduction?”
Chaz watched in amazement as she toyed with her prey. He would lunge at her and she would counter with an acrobatic flip. He would slice the air with his clawed hands and find each attack blocked with a martial arts parry. When he leapt behind her, she rolled forward in a gymnast’s cartwheel and kicked him twice, once with each of her patent leather boot heels.
Each time, she made a new snappy quip at his expense.
“Don’t reach for food that isn’t meant for your plate!”
“You really should excuse yourself from the table if you’re going to be rude and bleed all over like that.”
“Oohh. That’s just embarrassing. Martha Stewart would be so disappointed in you.”
Chaz couldn’t take his eyes off the battle, despite the obvious intentions the vampire had for him at the start of the encounter.
Finally, the woman pivoted to one side to distract her foe and suddenly reversed her course after he tried to intercept her attack. She drove the wooden stake into the center of his chest, and he disappeared into an explosion of dust. “Well, I hate to say it, but you’re sporked, buddy.”
Breaking out into enthusiastic applause, Chaz moved forward as she pocketed her deadly weapon. “Wow. I mean WOW. That was unbelievable. How can I ever thank you for saving me? I’m Chaz, by the way. Chaz Hamilton.”
“I’m the Slayer B.A.S., but you can call me Buffy.” She held out her arms, water dripping from every inch of her. “A dry towel and a cup of coffee would be nice.”
=> => =>
Chaz brought Slayer B.A.S. several towels from the Sentinel’s gym locker room and a couple for himself. “I can’t believe I’m actually meeting you in person. You’re like… a living legend. And you look great for someone who has been working since the 90s.”
“I work out. A lot.” Buffy set down her steaming cup of joe and grabbed a towel. She began to pat her blond hair dry. “Ever since Willow brought be back from Heaven, I haven’t aged much at all. Magic-Wagic, Timey-Wimey after-effects, I guess.”
“Since I’ve got you here, would you mind doing an interview with me? I bet lots of people would be really excited to hear what you’ve been up to.” Chaz took off his jacket and slung his towel behind his neck.”
“Sure. Why not.”
“Great. Where to start, where to start?” Chaz mumbled to himself. He was going to have to freestyle this interview. He cleared his throat and began the interview.
Chaz: - “What have you been doing since Sunnydale was destroyed?”
Buffy: - “Well, after I destroyed the Hellmouth and saved the… you know, the world yet again. I got asked to join Area 51 by an Autobot. Looked like he needed help, so here I am.”
Chaz: - “Do you stay in touch with the members of the Scoobie-gang?”
Buffy: - “I keep in touch with the gang via video chat, just to make sure no huge evil has returned. Or that none of them have turned into a huge evil. Yeah, my friends can be complicated.”
Chaz: - “Has exposure to Morphons changed you or your powers in any way?”
Buffy: - “When I was young and at school, when I burned the gym down at the school I went to before Sunnydale (sorry taxpayers), I knew I had special powers. But coming here and adding MP's to my diet, I really increased my powers to unbelievable heights!”
Chaz: - “What is it like defeating super-villains that don't turn to dust when you stab them?”
Buffy: - “Well, here there are way more attacking powers that I have learned. Back home, basically it was just me and Mr. Pointy taking out the vampires and demons. That was until I found the Scythe. Talk about an impressive piece of gear. They won’t let me use that in league wars. Yet. So, back to your question, yes. It is a little different seeing them wave the white flag instead of disappearing to dust.”
Chaz: - “Seriously, if you had to choose, who would it be? Angel or Spike?”
Buffy: - “Angel all the way, but that is only if I had to choose one.” <Buffy gives Chaz a sly grin and winks> “Having both of them does have some advantages, if you know what I mean.”
<Chaz blushes slightly>
Chaz: - “What do you do for a day job these days or are you super-heroing 24/7?”
Buffy: - “I am just a small girl in this big hero world, I use my keen sense of fashion and my humor as my advantage to help take down the bad guys. Oh, and I can still punch really, really hard when I need to. That helps.”
Chaz: - “Do you and Faith ever talk?”
Buffy: - “Not too much, anymore. We had that big fight and I had to put her in her place. I feel a little bad that I put her in that coma, but I check up on her to make sure she is still being good from time to time.”
Chaz: - “I hear Angel killed Giles when you went into later seasons in comic book form, but he was brought back as a kid. Did you chaperone his prom this time?”
Buffy: - “From a far. I ‘watched’ over him.” <Buffy giggles a little bit> “He mainly had to learn everything all over again. So with lots of books to read, he pretty much stays in the library.”
Chaz: - “Some things don’t ever change, do they?”
Buffy: - “Nope.”
Chaz: - “It always seemed like you used to have a new big-bad/super-villain every year for a while. The Master, Angelus, The Principal, The Initiative, Glory, The Trio until Dark Willow showed up, The First, Twilight, Harmony… so on and so on. Who is your current arch-nemesis or are you only going up against the Legion in general these days?”
Buffy: - “Because I am working with Area 51 at the moment, my arch-nemesis is anyone they tell me attack.” <Buffy laughs> “I have acquired a few that I see in events and fight clubs, but I think they really hate it when they see me join because that means 1 less top 5 spot for them.” <She laughs again>
Chaz: - “Thank you so much. I can’t wait to put this out there for everyone to see.”
Buffy: - “You’re welcome. One last thing, something I want people to know?”
Chaz: - “Sure. What’s that?”
<Buffy digs in her pocket, pulls out a small communications device, and holds it out so Chaz can see it>
Buffy: - “If there’s gonna be an apocalypse, Beep me!”
In the illumination from a flash of lightning above, Chaz saw his attacker’s face, and more importantly, the long, pointed canine teeth thirsty for blood in its mouth. “You... you...you’re a VAMPIRE?”
The creature of the night hissed as he threw Chaz into a pile of refuse-filled trash bags and charged toward the blond. “I thought you were dead.”
“I was.” She shrugged and then rapidly pulled out a long, pointed shaft of wood from her stylish black jacket. She twirled it in her hand like a beauty queen spinning a baton and caught it in a tight grip, the business end pointing in the vampire’s direction. “Twice. Three times if you count being cancelled."
“It doesn’t matter,” the vampire said. “You won’t stop me all by yourself, little girl.”
“Now, you’re going to hurt Mr. Pointy’s feelings. He goes everywhere with me these days.” She looked at the wooden stake in her hands with momentary sadness, before a playful smile came across her lips. “How about a heart-felt introduction?”
Chaz watched in amazement as she toyed with her prey. He would lunge at her and she would counter with an acrobatic flip. He would slice the air with his clawed hands and find each attack blocked with a martial arts parry. When he leapt behind her, she rolled forward in a gymnast’s cartwheel and kicked him twice, once with each of her patent leather boot heels.
Each time, she made a new snappy quip at his expense.
“Don’t reach for food that isn’t meant for your plate!”
“You really should excuse yourself from the table if you’re going to be rude and bleed all over like that.”
“Oohh. That’s just embarrassing. Martha Stewart would be so disappointed in you.”
Chaz couldn’t take his eyes off the battle, despite the obvious intentions the vampire had for him at the start of the encounter.
Finally, the woman pivoted to one side to distract her foe and suddenly reversed her course after he tried to intercept her attack. She drove the wooden stake into the center of his chest, and he disappeared into an explosion of dust. “Well, I hate to say it, but you’re sporked, buddy.”
Breaking out into enthusiastic applause, Chaz moved forward as she pocketed her deadly weapon. “Wow. I mean WOW. That was unbelievable. How can I ever thank you for saving me? I’m Chaz, by the way. Chaz Hamilton.”
“I’m the Slayer B.A.S., but you can call me Buffy.” She held out her arms, water dripping from every inch of her. “A dry towel and a cup of coffee would be nice.”
=> => =>
Chaz brought Slayer B.A.S. several towels from the Sentinel’s gym locker room and a couple for himself. “I can’t believe I’m actually meeting you in person. You’re like… a living legend. And you look great for someone who has been working since the 90s.”
“I work out. A lot.” Buffy set down her steaming cup of joe and grabbed a towel. She began to pat her blond hair dry. “Ever since Willow brought be back from Heaven, I haven’t aged much at all. Magic-Wagic, Timey-Wimey after-effects, I guess.”
“Since I’ve got you here, would you mind doing an interview with me? I bet lots of people would be really excited to hear what you’ve been up to.” Chaz took off his jacket and slung his towel behind his neck.”
“Sure. Why not.”
“Great. Where to start, where to start?” Chaz mumbled to himself. He was going to have to freestyle this interview. He cleared his throat and began the interview.
Chaz: - “What have you been doing since Sunnydale was destroyed?”
Buffy: - “Well, after I destroyed the Hellmouth and saved the… you know, the world yet again. I got asked to join Area 51 by an Autobot. Looked like he needed help, so here I am.”
Chaz: - “Do you stay in touch with the members of the Scoobie-gang?”
Buffy: - “I keep in touch with the gang via video chat, just to make sure no huge evil has returned. Or that none of them have turned into a huge evil. Yeah, my friends can be complicated.”
Chaz: - “Has exposure to Morphons changed you or your powers in any way?”
Buffy: - “When I was young and at school, when I burned the gym down at the school I went to before Sunnydale (sorry taxpayers), I knew I had special powers. But coming here and adding MP's to my diet, I really increased my powers to unbelievable heights!”
Chaz: - “What is it like defeating super-villains that don't turn to dust when you stab them?”
Buffy: - “Well, here there are way more attacking powers that I have learned. Back home, basically it was just me and Mr. Pointy taking out the vampires and demons. That was until I found the Scythe. Talk about an impressive piece of gear. They won’t let me use that in league wars. Yet. So, back to your question, yes. It is a little different seeing them wave the white flag instead of disappearing to dust.”
Chaz: - “Seriously, if you had to choose, who would it be? Angel or Spike?”
Buffy: - “Angel all the way, but that is only if I had to choose one.” <Buffy gives Chaz a sly grin and winks> “Having both of them does have some advantages, if you know what I mean.”
<Chaz blushes slightly>
Chaz: - “What do you do for a day job these days or are you super-heroing 24/7?”
Buffy: - “I am just a small girl in this big hero world, I use my keen sense of fashion and my humor as my advantage to help take down the bad guys. Oh, and I can still punch really, really hard when I need to. That helps.”
Chaz: - “Do you and Faith ever talk?”
Buffy: - “Not too much, anymore. We had that big fight and I had to put her in her place. I feel a little bad that I put her in that coma, but I check up on her to make sure she is still being good from time to time.”
Chaz: - “I hear Angel killed Giles when you went into later seasons in comic book form, but he was brought back as a kid. Did you chaperone his prom this time?”
Buffy: - “From a far. I ‘watched’ over him.” <Buffy giggles a little bit> “He mainly had to learn everything all over again. So with lots of books to read, he pretty much stays in the library.”
Chaz: - “Some things don’t ever change, do they?”
Buffy: - “Nope.”
Chaz: - “It always seemed like you used to have a new big-bad/super-villain every year for a while. The Master, Angelus, The Principal, The Initiative, Glory, The Trio until Dark Willow showed up, The First, Twilight, Harmony… so on and so on. Who is your current arch-nemesis or are you only going up against the Legion in general these days?”
Buffy: - “Because I am working with Area 51 at the moment, my arch-nemesis is anyone they tell me attack.” <Buffy laughs> “I have acquired a few that I see in events and fight clubs, but I think they really hate it when they see me join because that means 1 less top 5 spot for them.” <She laughs again>
Chaz: - “Thank you so much. I can’t wait to put this out there for everyone to see.”
Buffy: - “You’re welcome. One last thing, something I want people to know?”
Chaz: - “Sure. What’s that?”
<Buffy digs in her pocket, pulls out a small communications device, and holds it out so Chaz can see it>
Buffy: - “If there’s gonna be an apocalypse, Beep me!”
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