By Ben Roberts
Cameras roll in to orchestra music reminiscent of ancient roman gladiator games. The sounds echo across the massive poly vinyl steel mesh dome expanding over the 2000 acre floating arena hovering at the edge of space. Trillions of dollars have been spent by BADGE for this state of the art facility built where earth ends and the universe begins.
Various cameras pan across league pits in the sub floors of the coliseum build at the center. A gaudy stainless steel statue at the front entrance of Nova with a giant cat man, a tiger, a gargoyle and a duck statue to either side representing the management. And then a pantheon of statues of the greatest combatants of the prior 3 league wars.
As the first round clock counts down to zero
Jay C- "Thank you everyone for joining us tonight via satelitte worldwide as we begin this glorious edition of SuperActionSports live from League Wars Four! It brings me great pride to be here... We polled the players prior to wars for venues across the globe. From the warm sunny beaches and beautiful women of Malibu and Miami, the rich cuisine and culture of New Orleans. The bright lights and atmosphere of New York...
I'm so glad that management selected this location. The cold... Icy... Lifeless... Hostile... Vacuum of death... That is space.
(Looks at Robert Jr with a fake smile masking terrifying fear)
(Awkward pause)
So glad to be here.
What do you think about this beautiful trillion dollar death trap Robbie?
(Mumbles under his breath)
We're all gonna die."
Robert Jnr - "Nova said he wanted a neutral environment Jay, personally I'm guessing it's all a big tax dodge. Last wars we were reduced to using a remote studio *cough cough your moms garage cough cough* to comply with social distancing. There certainly won't be an issue with that for this event.
Nova and his BADGE team have put together a fantastic arena, what we looking at here, 2000 acres? That's like ... a few times larger than before. And the terrain is superb, before the first round we took a drive around. I personally was impressed with the recreation of the amphitheatre of Rome.
Slightly less impressed with the catering.
(Mumbles under his breath)
Another vac pack freeze dried soya stew and I'm gonna die"
Jay C- "We are still staging a literal war in a floating bubble. With the power some of these guys are throwing around I'm fearful of something other than 5th precints ranks getting breached. Im just saying... Who needs oxygen am I right?"
Robert Jnr -"I can name at least one BADGE director who doesnt ... oh and maybe the score board guy ... he may be literally out in the cold tonight"
Jay C- "Well wars started out with a literal bang. At first points werent being calculated at all to people's surprise. Apparently the scoreboard guy called in sick and didn't call Nova direct. And then suddenly to make up for the lack of points, every attack launched by everyone counted. It was both entertaining and concerning at once. I have it on record from an Avenger insider that Abstract was overheard saying if the glitch persisted it was 'advantage bot wings'? I wonder who bot wings is? Don't know that player."
Robert Jnr- "Not a name I've seen on any roster and you know I have read up on everything that counts ... well maybe he's in Division 3 ..."
Jay C- "Speaking of which. Division 3 looks very... unusual. It appears that via a twist of fate or miracle on ice type situation that a power team will NOT win a top 3 division bracket. Late entry WMD Sorcery and NMDS entered pushing all Avenger/WMD/Colony teams above and below D3! When opportunity knocks you walk through the door. Once again, same source overheard Abstract saying 'Never again.'
It appears a heavily bagged HO$ squad is the favorite."
Robert Jnr- "It's painful to use HO$ and favourite in the same sentence, but we are professional ...
*splutters wildly, has a drink and tries to compose himself*
Let's have a look at the results as they are coming in ...
Division 1 was unsurprisingly WMD and Avengers starting out with wins. There have been changes to the starting line up of both these leagues, but no changes to the results so far."
Jay C- "Both squads enter wars 7 strong... Literally. With these 14 combatants ranking easily in the top 20 overall world wide.
Division 2 has Avengers Hunt and Destroy and Colony easily wrapping up their respective quarter finals.
Word on the street Robbie is that we're both gonna see some low scoring contests until someone royally *bleeeeeeeps* up."
Robert Jnr- "Stuff happened in Division 3, there were some 5th Precincters and Legacy of Spawn fighting and the HO$ actually made an appearance. We still sticking with our prediction there Jay? Hate to say it but it's there to be lost."
Jay C- "Look, I'm standing at the ledge watching that division. I've never wanted a couple teams to win and lose at the same time so much in my life. The professional in me admits HO$ is the favorite. But the righteous man of the cloth my mom wishes i was had me rooting for Legacy of Spawn.
I hope they all get drunk and forget to fight and we call D3 a redo with a redraw.
What do you think about the divisions below that Robbie? That division makes me want to open the dome here at the arena without a space suit."
Robert Jnr- "Well D4 is another Avengers vs the rest of the world affair. Unfortunately we're in space so the whole of the world isn't really all that much in the grand scheme of the universe.
D5 is all about Stealth or Red Guard right now."
Jay C- "Honestly looking forward to that contest robbo. When in doubt roll with 51 I always say. The league is well organized by most standards.
Division 6 looks like the most balanced division in all of wars on paper. It should be noted new heroes rising league GW... Ghost warriors has 3 teams in this division alone. They are scooping up a large percentage of new faces in the hero game. Who do you got?"
Robert Jnr- "I'm kinda still on the GW win there ... when they start out facing each other you know the result is not a true reflection. Good for the future of SuperActionSports if a newcomer can grab a division title on debut."
Jay C- "In division 7 I'm honestly pulling for veteran league Pain. They have some of the classiest and most powerful contributors to this hero game at the sub level 100. They are favorites until someone proves me wrong.
(Breaking the 4th wall) @ray ray 5000 and Dana da bird lady, tell em to be the man they gotta beat the man... And woman... Wooooooo!!!!!"
(Jay C does the Ric Flair strut across the table and sits back down.)
Robert Jnr- "Its them or the Dark guins. But like you I have a distrust of a bird that claims to be flightless when we know for a fact they're lying."
Jay C- "Dark guins I don't trust because:
1. I know yall can fly. We proved it. We had a whole episode of myth busters about it.
2. They dont like light guins and I don't support prejudiced guins period. This is 2020 man."
Robert Jnr- "Was that the myth busters episode with the leopard seal catapult?"
Jay C- "That's the one! My primary concern in that match is I'm told Zen has been working on a top secret offensive technique. Im not sure what it is, but they are referring to it as guin-nado. And its been reported colony has invested heavily in weather satellite tech.
Everyone on the street is saying Brotherhood or GW for D8. But I have a darkhorse robbo."
Robert Jnr - "Brotherhood, what an opening ... taking round one without throwing a single punch"
Jay C- "As impressive as that feat is, That's right ... I'm tying off to the Purple Onion wagon!!! Lets look at it on tape. They have as many league war golds as any league in the division, experienced leadership and they are tenacious.
Like small rabid ferrets... With steak knives... And night vision goggles ..."
Robert Jnr- "They are definitely something ... special in a special way ..."
Jay C- "And they are primed to give a special education to the other leagues in their division. As usual robbo. Its been a pleasure wrapping up round 1 of league wars with you. I hope we don't die in a fiery plummeting city sized meteor strike before round 2."
Robert Jnr- "I'll drink to that Jay ... did Nova put a bar on this thing? Now it's back to Kennie in the nice safe Earth based studio not surrounded by a freezing vacuum of death ..."
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