Thursday, December 30, 2021

This Just In... (Father) Time Isn't on our Side

 

by Chaz Hamilton
ID# 22349

As the new year approaches, another threat to all of citizens of this planet rises. This time, TIME being the operative word, the threat comes under the guise of an old man who has had his fill of Daylight Savings Time.

That's right. Father Time is preparing to roll back the hands on the clock and do a full factory reset on our asses.

As many of you know, trouble in Neo Utopia a couple of weeks back signaled some unusual temporal activity. Nearly a dozen heroes, as well as myself, Chaz Hamilton, your official BADGE liaison, were in a meeting and found ourselves thrust into tiny boxes of an archaic Advent calendar for extended periods of time. Several powerful heroes, such as Gar and Director Nova found themselves drained of vital energy alongside of villains such at Rutkowski and his lackey, Steelfist. 

Only one box remains sealed, and it is believed that Santa Claus himself has been contained within, the legendary being who may have the power to end the current crisis.

Heroes from around the globe have rallied to the cry for aid in trying to reclaim the last key which should hopefully open the door to the Advent Calendar holding dear Santa.

Father Time has somehow managed to separate the heroes into two forces, one group fighting a temporal shard of Father Time while another is battling against the entity himself. Somebody better call Mother Nature in, because the heroes are going to need all the help they are going to get.

BADGE scientists are again on site, but their readings are not quite as accurate as in the past. Sensors keep transforming into spyglasses and stone circles. To their best approximations, the higher level heroes have lowered Father Time's energy reserves by nearly 30%, while the newer heroes are slightly over 20%. Both will need to succeed by New Year's Eve or dire consequences are reported to be possible. Even though there is no temporal meaning to the end of one calendar year to the next in a cosmic sense, the mass belief of their being a significance to the night does impact Father Time's abilities.

Here are the current top five in each grouping of heroes:

Under 100


Hero                            Damage

Silver Paladin                 64,386                     
Chained Angel               50,374                     
The Mighty Scotty          47,090                     
BeeStinger                      36,731                     
]✡[Abra Kadabra]✡[       34,862                    

100+

Hero                                    Damage

Miðgarðsormr                     341,359 
♦ The Gentleman 5¹ ♦         304,993 
][☣][ Hot Wings ][☣][       301,449 
Derdy Bumhole                   259,806 
Secret Asian Man ♕★        233,166 

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