The Sentinel's new Current Affairs Desk brings you an exclusive on Heroes Rising's leagues, giving you an insight into their origins and current directions.
First to be interviewed is a league that gained infamy for coming in last position in the inaugural League Wars that concluded not long ago.
Here are three representatives from The Purple Onion: Dick Fitzwell, Urania, and Wahay Gimble.
1. Why is the league called The Purple Onion? What does it mean?
Dick: "I named it after myself. I'm their Head of Strategic Thinking."
Wahay: "What do you mean league? The guys were just hanging around doing nothing and it looked like fun so I just stuck about."
Urania: "Is that our league's name? That stupid Dick, Head of Strategic Thinking!"
2. What is your membership criteria?
Dick: "We have criteria?"
Wahay: "I've got a boyfriend, so my criterion is his member only."
Urania: "You have to be willing to be the butt of all jokes. I am from Uranus and I know what it's like."
3. Why on earth did you join the league wars?
Dick: "Hoping there would be more lower divisions & be some sort of participation award."
Wahay: "You keep saying leagues, I don't get it. Hang on... League WARS? Was that all that shouting the other day? I was out on the fire escape having a smoke."
Urania: "We're nuts."
4. How does it feel coming in last position?
Dick: "Dick Fitzwell is used to being at the bottom."
Wahay: "Last place, that's like saying I should be competing. I'm an individual and can't be judged by other people's standards. See this outfit, black, with black, lots of black makeup; I'm expressing my nihilistic individuality and you can't categorise me with anyone else."
Urania: "We're proud of it. Without us, someone else would have to come last."
5. What are your future plans?
Dick: "We may reach out to other leagues and teabag them for the next league war." (*Big grin*)
Wahay: "Future plans? Well Felix, that's my boyfriend, he said he'd be over later for Disney+ and stuff."
Urania: "We have two options. One: come in last again in the next league wars. Or two: come in last again."
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