Chaz Hamilton, back in action, albeit remotely as I review League War Avalanche: Round Two from Neo Utopia while Dr. Henderson of BADGE pokes and prods me after I popped out of my little holiday cabinet. What lengths will I go to in order to bring you the story? Whatever it takes, as long as I have a sizable expense account and access to counseling afterwards. Enough about me, though. Let's talk League Wars.
Round 2 of League War Avalanche has come down hard, burying
some leagues so badly that St. Bernards have been flown in to help locate the
bodies. Let’s take a look at the fights that took place.
Division 1:
Clearly, WMD – Black Order was skiing Black Diamond courses while the 5th Precinct: Omniversal Traffic Cops were still finding out how to stand up on the kiddie slopes. On the other hand, Angels Of Sorcery and Ravagers went at each other in a fairly close match. It appears that for the Gold, WMD – Black Order and Angels Of Sorcery are going to be visiting the Thunderdome. I have to say my money is on WMD – Black Order for Division One’s top spot.
Division 2:
In another pitiable showing for the 5th
Precinct, Colony 51 has done the March of the Penguins over the bodies of 5th
Precinct: Kung Fu Hustle. As they say in the south, “Bless their little hearts,
but…” Alternatively, 666 Burning $ky suffered a respectable loss to The Decepticons
51, which leaves the final field battle of Colony 51 vs 666 Burning $ky to be
the Gold matchup. I think it is fairly easy to say that odds are in Colony 51’s
favor.
Division 3:
In what might have been a tense third round
battle, Legacy of Spawn instead faced their biggest challenge of League War
Avalanche, SERAPHIM ANGELS, during Round Two. This leaves it a rather foregone
conclusion that Legacy of Spawn will take the Gold in Division 3, a reward long
in achieving. SOB HUNTER/KILLER showed The Scottish Claymores – The Highlanders
no mercy in their match, surpassing the WMD-Black Order tallies in Division One.
It almost seems that some leagues saw The Purple Onion’s score of 150 during
Round One and said “Hold My Beer!”
Division 4:
North Pole did a phenomenal Meathook maneuver and left the
Realm Defenders: Unraveling Consequences slack-jawed with their wallets fully
emptied of singles. The second round saw the Avengers -Stormtroopers Of Death
using 5th Precinct: Omniversal Guardians for target practice. This
did seem to be a somewhat more appropriate match, as the 5th
Precinct team lost by close to half compared to their higher division matches.
Division 5:
MERC BABES AND BASTARDS took the spring out of Tygger’s
Freak Show’s step by burying them beneath 114 wins. In this circumstance, one
is definitely a lonely number. We have some good news in for the 5th
Precinct’s Dark Side, as they defeated the Galaxy Rangers by more than double. I
hope someone remembered to bring a box of donuts to the locker room for
celebration.
Division 6:
Outlaw Inc proved to be more than a match for the
descendants of exile in the Aussie Freaks. CREATURES OF THE NIGHT laid in wait
and picked the right moment to attack The Infected 51. If none of the CREATURES
OF THE NIGHT had rabies before this battle round, they more than likely do now.
Division 7:
Avengers 51 Walking Dead showed far more life than 5th
Precinct: Space Force, a battle that can easily compare with the efforts of
Stacked Deck as they flipped the table and knocked out the Freaks of Nature.
The Star Force rallied from their first round loss and activated their
hyperdrive as they went plaid on the Scottish Claymores – The Ghost Riders. In
the closest match of the division, 5th Precinct: Code Blue came back
to life and toppled The Justice league by one point.
Division 8 and above… Fill in your commentary. It is pretty
easy to see who is in it to win it in the rest of the leagues.
0 Comments