by Todd Goode 12205
Hey folks! It’s Wandering Jack here at Malicious Flats. I’ve been watching you super people fightin out to see whose best. It’s been a real hoot but before I tell ya’ll what I really think about all this. Guess what? Nova made good on his promise and got me a new donkey. He told me there is something special about this one but he wouldn’t tell me what was.
Nova said, “Her name is Goldie and she’s is going to be the best ass you ever had but you still gotta give us capes some of your unique commentary on round 3 of LWS DESERT SURVIVAL. So let’s get to it already.”
I said, “Okay, you ornery old what not. Hold yer water. Imma gettin to it. Don’t rush me. Imma thinkin and my head hurts.”
Nova grinned a slight grin and gave a lil chuckle.
Well folks, I guess I better get to it before ole impatient pants has a hissy fit.
What in tarnation? Some feller just walked up and handed me a piece of paper with names. He looks like a walkin statue with wings, He said,” My name is Gar and I have prepared a list of the leagues who are our gold medalist of LWS DESERT SURVIVAL. Nova would like for you to read it.”
“Whatever their Stonehenge. Let me see it.” Geez, that feller was huge. I wouldn’t want to upset his coffee in the morning. It could git a bit messy. Other than that he seems to be a likeable feller.
I walked over to the microphone and cleared my throat.
Okay, folks, let git this shindig started. Here are yer gold medalist fer DESERT SURVIVAL.
In division 1- WMD destroys the 5th Precinct Traffic Cops 162-0.
In division 2- Villains Inc. steal the loot from the Angels of Sorcery 73-32.
In division 3- Colony 51 clips the Seraphim Angels wings 61-20.
In division 4- Infected 51infects the Hunter/Killers with losses 79-29.
In division 5- Outlaw Inc. takes the win from AvengersFiftyOne 64-57.
“You know I watched this one and it was super close.”
Just then, that big walkin statue snuck up on me and danged near gave me a conniption fit. For a big walkin rock, he walks awful softly. It was Gar again with nother piece of paper to read.
I start to read out loud .“Says here, that the Outlaws, have broken the win streak of Starscream. It also says that Starscream has won a gold belt 12 lws in a row since the lws started. He did however, win the silver this lws. How bout that?
You know what I say bout that? I think that theys ain’t nobody gonna beat that record. At least, not for a real long while.
It also says here is a quote from Starscream. Apparently, “Decepticons rule and Autobots drool.”
Okay. I don’t know what that means so let’s just get back to the list.”
In division 6- Avengers51 saves the universe from the Galaxy Rangers 90-28.
In division 7- Avengers51Walking Dead get some Starforce brains. Them zombies win it 80-38.
In division 8- VI Marauders stop the music of Bowtie Karaoke 81-8.
In division 9- Bomb Squad defuses the Star Force Junior League 78-17.
In division 10- EVADE doesn’t run from the Raiderettes and win it 11-0 for the gold.
In division 11- 9 Planets Orbiting raids the People Fund 76-0.
In the last division, division 12 Bomb Squad 2 win against Squid?Game 2 64-7. I guess Squid?Game 2 wasn’t good at everything.
Well. That’s the end of the list. I wanna tell all you leagues out there that I really enjoyed watchin ya’lls matches. You folks got some pretty cool powers and this was a real enjoyable shindig. The fellers that put this thing together did a good job. You guys prolly ought to take some time to heal and relax. Ya’ll deserve it. Good night everybody. I walk over to where Nova and Gar where cleanin up.
I said, “Hey you cantankerous old coot. Are you and Stonehenge there satisfied with my commentary? Can I take Goldie and go?”
Nova and Gar chuckled.
Nova said, “Yes, Wandering Jack. You did a great job. You can take Goldie and take off whenever you like.”
“Okay fellers. It was nice to meet ya’ll and watch all them fights. Ya’ll take care out here. I might see ya’ll again while I’m wanderin around, by ya’ll.”
Nova and Gar watched Jack till he was out of sight. Then Gar said, “You never told ole Jack what was so special about that donkey. What was it?”
Nova said, “Jack is ole gold prospector. When he finds out that donkey was affected by morphons and that animal can talk and is a gold magnet, he won’t need to wander around anymore. He may soil himself but he won’t need to wander.”
Gar said “I’d like to see that when it happens.”
Nova said, “Don’t worry you will. I planted a tiny camera on Goldie’s Harness. I might be an ole coot but I'm a fun ole coot .
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